The LONG awaited Adoption Photo Book

I've had a couple of great blog posts written in my mind the last couple days but haven't had the chance to write them because I've been working on finishing this project. So glad it's done! We are hoping to adopt through outreach, so please if you or someone you know is looking for a family for their child, please consider us!
Thanks for your time!

Ok, this is my third attempt to post this...Shutterfly changed the way you can share photobooks so after all that work it was too small to read. This is the PDF version that is not good quality, but you can at least get the idea I guess.

The Full's Adoption Book

She Shared Him

Merry Christmas! I was blessed to get to celebrate one of the most important days for our faith with my family at a beautiful Midnight Mass. The music, the atmosphere and the priest who led us in prayer all made it the holy day that it was intended to be. We got to reflect on the amazing gift that we are given today, that if there was ever any doubt that our God loved us, the day that Jesus was born those doubts were put to rest. You can't think about what He did for us without realizing the depth of His love is deeper than we will ever know.
And now that we have received that love and that message, we are called to share it! It's in the way we are made. Just like when we get a great recipe, a new trick, a great sale, we want to share it with our friends and family. We can be selfish and keep it to ourselves, but we get so much more joy out of sharing it.
When I hear the story of the birth of Jesus I think about modern day births. For my husband and I, because we struggled with infertility for so long, when we finally brought our son home I didn't really want to share him with anyone. I didn't want a parade of people through my house or to pass him around for others to hold him. I just wanted to keep him all to myself and enjoy his tiny beauty and not miss a second of it. Now, my son was 1 month old when we brought him home and it was only a temporary situation at that time. Mary has just given birth to her son but also to GOD HIMSELF. I can't help but thinking that if I were her, I would have wanted to hide away so I could have that precious time with Him all to myself. But as the story tells, the angels sang, the shepherds came and she didn't hide away but instead she shared him with complete strangers. It was the most intimate moment of her life, and no one would have blamed her for being selfish with that time, but she shared Him. And in doing so she set an example for all of us. When we experience His love, forgiveness and grace a part of us would love to hold it tight and keep it for ourselves, but we have to share it with others. We have to invite others in to those intimate moments, and just like Mary did, we'll experience the joy that comes with bringing Jesus to someone else. After all, I owe my life to the people who have shared Jesus with me!
It is my deepest prayer that you all experienced the peace and joy of Christ present with us this Christmas season, and that you can take the love that you have received and share it with others in the coming year! Merry Christmas!

Everything I am and everything I do is only because of You

One of my favorite Christmas traditions is driving around looking at all the Christmas lights. It's so fun to see the creativity and just the whole town proclaiming Christ. It's amazing how when you are putting them up in the daylight, they aren't very attractive, and sometimes it's quite tacky looking, but once they are lit up at night they are so beautiful when their light all you can see. It's so similar with us. When you just see me you see sin and imperfections and it's really not a pretty sight at all, but when I'm keeping Christ at the center of my heart and focusing on letting His light shine through me, that's when you can see beauty and love.

Father, Let your light shine through me today, and others may see You instead of me. If I should receive praise or recognition, let me fall to my knees that they may know to glorify You. What an honor to be able to share You with others, make me humble that they may always know everything I am and everything I do is only because of Your presence in me.

Sledding through Life

Brrr! It's cold tonight in Minnesota! I caught a commercial on tv tonight of a family sledding, making snow angels, and just having a blast out in the cold. I thought it was the perfect picture of Christmas. They are faced with a challenge, the cold, the snow, and they learn to play in it. The world that we live in is our "cold". It's a challenge to live in the midst of so much evil, but Jesus came so that we could not only survive it, but even have fun in it. As I saw the family laughing and sliding down that hill I just thought about all of us making our way through this life, and how great it is when we choose to see the opportunities for joy in the midst of struggle.

Praying that you will find the opportunities to turn your challenges into fun!

The best gifts are the ones you never even knew you wanted

So of course Christmas is next week and I still have a LOT of gifts to buy. Gift giving is not one of my strengths. I recognize this. Apparently being challenged in this area doesn't excuse you from giving gifts though, therefore a week before Christmas can be a stressful time for me. There are two reasons I hate gift giving: 1. I hate shopping and 2. I want a gift to be meaningful or perfect and I always feel like I end up settling for something when it's not.
This year, I did come up with solutions to both of these problems. To solve number 2 I decided to just....get over it.  And to fix number 1 I sent my husband shopping instead! So overall it's gone pretty well.

As I was looking through a Shopko ad tonight thinking about the last few people (ok half) on my list left to buy gifts for. One of the boys I am buying for I was told that everyone else has already bought him everything he asked for this year. That's when I thought you know, the best gifts are the ones you never even knew you wanted until you got them. If you have ever received a really great unexpected gift you know exactly what I'm talking about. When someone gives you something off your list, it's nice, you need it and you are happy. But when someone knows you enough to think of something you would like that even you yourself didn't think about, that makes you feel very special.

I think the Jewish people all had an idea of what they thought the savior would be like. I'm guessing they thought at the least that he would be taller :) and probably everyone was surprised at the way he entered the world.  But what a beautiful gift. We wanted a God to strike things down with lightening bolts and take back his world in a whirlwind. We got a God to walk beside us and speak of peace and hope and forgiveness. Who came to heal us instead of judge us, and carry our burdons. We never even knew we wanted it, but once the story played out, we wouldn't have it any other way.

There are so many gifts that I have wanted in my life already, but the unexpected have always been the best ones. The important thing to remember is that in order to get an unexpected gift it means we won't get the thing we were hoping for. Sometimes, we have our heart so set on something it's hard to let go of it, even when something even better is set right in front of us. We've all seen the Christmas or Birthday temper-tantrums when kids don't get the present they really wanted. It's not a pretty site, especially since they usually have so many wonderful gifts in front of them. I often wonder if I look like that to God, when I am complaining about something in my life I want to change or a gift I'd like to get. But if I can only trust Him, there is no one better to be in charge of the gift giving. He knows us inside and out, He knew us before we were born. Surely, he knows the perfect things that we need even when we don't even know we need them.

Hoping you find joy in all of your unexpected gifts this year!

Look it up!

"Are you the one or should we look for another?" That's the question John the Baptists followers ask Jesus in the gospel today. Too many times to count, Jesus answers questions with scripture. One of the best bosses I ever had was really great at teaching me how to "fish" instead of just giving me a fish. If I asked him a question he would say "where do you think we could look to find the answer to that?" and then we would look together until we found it. I have no doubt that he knew the answer without having to look it up in a manual, but he was giving me the knowledge and power to find answers myself which made me a better employee better able to do my job.
Jesus does the same with the people that asked him questions. Could he have answered the question simply? Of course. He is God, He could have told them everything they ever wanted to know. But he says "look it up" by saying in Mt 11:

"Go and tell John what you hear and see:
the blind regain their sight,
the lame walk,
lepers are cleansed,
the deaf hear,
the dead are raised,
and the poor have the good news proclaimed to them.
And blessed is the one who takes no offense at me.”

If you were familiar with the book of Isaiah you would know that by saying that he was saying "look it up." Here is the text from the prophesy told in Isaiah 35:

"Here is your God,
he comes with vindication;
with divine recompense
he comes to save you.
Then will the eyes of the blind be opened,
the ears of the deaf be cleared;
then will the lame leap like a stag,
then the tongue of the mute will sing."

He could have just said "yes" but He is a much better teacher than that. So I find myself questioning tonight what are some of the questions that I am constantly asking Him that he has already given me the answers to? I was talking with someone once who was switching jobs, trying to decide if she should go back to school, what relationships to pursue and really praying so much about what God wants for her and she was just unsure of the answer. Wow, we have all been there haven't we! That sentence was exactly me only a few years ago.  But is it possible sometimes when we don't feel we are getting a clear answer from God about something it's because He is saying to us: I already told you the answer a long time ago, look it up!

When I was in a situation where I had litterally prayed for over a year about a career change and I just could not get off the fence, every time I felt I knew what to do I talked myself out of it or felt differently. One day, I was driving home from work praying about it, asking for the 5 millionth time what I should do and I just felt God say very clearly "I don't really care Ann..." Not in the insensitive way it sounds, but that He was saying that either way would really be fine, it wouldn't be the end of the world, I would be happy no matter what I chose to do with that career decision. It's not that I don't believe that God has a plan for us, because I do very much. But sometimes I think we spend a lot of time weighing over things that don't matter so much, and we miss things that do. Maybe, if I had spent that much time praying over how to love a difficult family member it would have changed my life and theirs a lot more than a career change. Maybe, if I spent more time reading about and realizing that life isn't really about our careers at all, I would have known He gave me the answer thousands of years ago. We put so much of our worth in our success or failure at work/school/etc but Jesus spent his whole entire time on earth talking about love and relationships. So maybe if I haven't gotten the answer I've been waiting for, it's because the question has already been asked and answered. Possibly in Mt 22:37? ("Love your God with all your heart all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength....love your neighbor as yourself.")

Ok, well I realize the end of this post doesn't transition well but let's face it, this one got long and I've got a lot of stuff to look up so I have got to get going! :)

What if we Saw People the Way God Does?

In the gospel Mt 11:16-19 today Jesus reminds me so much of situations I've been in when I'm trying to make someone happy but I just can't. He's saying that they complained about John the Baptist because he didn't eat, and now they complain about Jesus because he does eat. Sometimes we find ourselves in those situations, that no matter what we do those people are going to find something wrong with it. But we can't complain to loudly, because all of us have been on the other side of that at some point. I know in the past I've been the one to quickly judge someone no matter what they do.

We've been using an activity at work during a workshop asking participants to hold up a wristband and, looking through it, imagine what they would see if they were looking through the eyes of God. How that can change our views in a heartbeat! If we saw people how God sees them we'd see more of their good qualities and wouldn't focus on the bad. We would have an understanding for the hurts they've suffered and have respect for the challenges they've overcome. Most of all, we would just see our call to love them just the way they are, in exactly the place they're at. If we could bring this vision into every relationship, just think how joyful and blessed our relationships could be!

Sometimes Christmas is More Difficult than Joyful

At work I always appreciate that someone remembers to pray for those that have a difficult time during the holidays. Anyone who has lost a loved one during that time is reminded of it each year the holiday comes around. Probably all of us at one time or another have experienced a time in our lives when the holidays were more sad than joyful. For me, it was after losing our third child. Celebrating a holiday that's all about a baby is constant reminder of what's missing from your family. I remember crying through a few Christmas Eve Masses. Being around family is difficult too when you are hurting so much but feel the need to put on a good face for everyone elses sake. I remember leaving holiday events feeling so exhausted. So this time of year whether you are struggling with a loss, having a difficult time with the holiday, or simply exhausted from shopping and baking, take comfort in the words from todays gospel:

Jesus said to the crowds:
“Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened,
and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you and learn from me,
for I am meek and humble of heart;
and you will find rest for yourselves.
For my yoke is easy, and my burden light.” Mt 11:28-30

A priest taught me a great meditation that I often do myself, that simply is to sit in the presence of God and then imagine yourself resting your head on his chest. Try it tonight! Best feeling in the world.

Are you ready to stop being asked "are you ready for Christmas?"

The title sounds so negative and I don't mean it that way at all. I know so many people, and I have been guilty myself, use this phrase as an icebreaker to start a conversation or make small talk. It's just that it always bothers me because what they are asking is "do you have all your pressents bought...is your tree up...baking done?" And of course anyone that knows me knows my answer to those questions until about Dec 23 is "um...no".  But what bothers me more than the reminder that I have so much left to do is the fact that being "ready" for Christmas means having all of the material things done. So early this week someone asked me if I was ready for Christmas and I decided to be honest and said "Yes, my heart is ready!"
This Christmas I am sure I will still be buying Christmas gifts on Dec 23 and I'm sure none of them will be as perfect as I hope they will be, but my heart will be ready for Christ to come. Our goal should be that every day we hope for his coming and we are ready. I was thinking all day about the "if today were your last day" concept. Jesus really does challenge us to live each day like it's our last. So, if today was your last day, is your heart ready to meet Him? Preparing our hearts doesn't just mean for the holiday, it means becoming so rooted in Christ that we are ready to meet him.

What were you born for?

"I am not brave, I'll never be. The only thing my heart can offer is a vacancy. I'm just a girl, nothing more. I am willing, I am yours." Be Born in Me - Francesca Battistelli

Today we celebrate Mary, the mother of God. There's a beautiful song that I quoted above. I know I shared it last year and I'll share it again because it's worth listening to twice. It can be easy to forget about Mary in a story that's all about her child, the savior that we'd been waiting for for so many years. I remember a friend telling me about her account of giving birth to her first son and just what a painful experience it was. All of her family and friends came to visit her in the hospital to ooo and aww at this precious child, but she couldn't help but think as they would come in with smiles on their faces "Don't they know what I just went through?"
It's easy once the story is played out to forget the sacrifice that got us there. When I think about Mary she is my ultimate role model as a woman, a mother, and a Christian. She was humble and sacrificial. She put others first without thought to herself. And most of all, she let go of her own plans for her life completely so that God's plan could be revealed. When I think about her, Brave is exactly the word that comes to mind. To say yes to something so incredible must have been terrifying. This wasn't just a nine month commitment, it was her entire life flipped upside down. But she doesn't take long to answer. Her heart, free from sin, was so planted in God she just trusted him. There's another line in the song that says "before my head agrees, my heart is on it's knees". Sometimes we over think things. The truth is, today we celebrate Mary's immaculate conception, the fact that she was born without sin. Before she was conceived, this was the plan God had for her life. She was litterally born for this. It would have been quite a dissapointment if she had missed out on what she was born for.
So as you reflect on Mary today, what were you born for? Before your head can overthink it, what does your heart say? And if it's scary or unknown territory, remember: you don't have to be brave, just willing to offer your heart and God will do the rest.

Here's a link to the song if you'd like to listen...
http://youtu.be/QsXOP7aQeqQ

Just Believe

I was recently shopping for Christmas cards online. You know, the kinds you put your family photos into? It's nice they've made them so you can put multiple photos on them now because it's impossible to get a photo with the Nathaniel, the dog and my husband all looking at the camera at once, not to mention smiling. Then of course, if there is a good one of all of them it's guaranteed my eyes are closed or I'm looking at them trying to get them to smile. Anyway, as I searched for a card this year I came across a lot that simply said "Believe". What a beautiful theme word for advent. Unfortunately too often our minds travel to Santa when we think about believing at Christmas time, but what we are really believing in is Jesus. That over 2000 years ago our God came down to earth as a helpless child because he loved us that much.

Today if you read Mt 9:27-31 you'll read about two blind men who come to Jesus for healing. Before he heals them, he asks them "'Do you believe that I can do this?' 'Yes, Lord,' they said to him. Then he touched their eyes and said 'Let it be done for you according to your faith.'"

When we pray, when we ask our God for healing, when we ask for so much, what would our answer be if he were to ask us the same question He asked those blind men? Do we believe He can heal our hurts? The darkest, deepest wounds we won't let anyone else see? Do we believe He can fix our broken hearts? Do we believe that He can make us holy, even us who have sinned so much? Do we believe He is the answer to every question, the purpose of life, our entire reason for being?

What an amazing thing to believe in, that we are that important to our God. The people of Jesus' time had waited so long for a savior, many stopped believing, stopped looking for him, and then missed him when he was standing right in front of them. Their trials were too big, their problems too difficult, they quit believing He would come because they felt let down so many other times. But some people didn't stop believing. Some endured hardship after hardship and still trusted that their God would come to save them. Some, like these two blind men, were healed and changed forever. I promise that no problem is too difficult, no hurt is too big, no heart is too broken for him to heal. We just have to believe that he will come, and let him open our eyes so we can see Him when He's right in front of us.

So the question we have to ask ourselves is "Do we believe?"

Three Little Pigs

First of all, I appologize that there was no post yesterday, I fell asleep on the couch at 8 pm after my son went to bed! Pretty sad, I know! Anyway, I will use yesterdays gospel this morning and post another tonight.

“Everyone who listens to these words of mine and acts on them
will be like a wise man who built his house on rock.
The rain fell, the floods came,
and the winds blew and buffeted the house.
But it did not collapse; it had been set solidly on rock.
And everyone who listens to these words of mine
but does not act on them
will be like a fool who built his house on sand.
The rain fell, the floods came,
and the winds blew and buffeted the house.
And it collapsed and was completely ruined.” Mt 7:24-27

This story always makes me think of the story of the three little pigs. I always felt bad for those first two pigs. I bet they were so proud of their houses, they spent so much time and energy building them only to be blown down by that mean wolf.  Sometimes we have the best intentions, just like those little pigs did, and Jesus doesn't want to insult our little houses, but simply help us to be prepared and give us what we need for the difficult times. When my husband and I were dealing with the loss of our children, I know that we survived it because our marriage was built on our Rock, our God and Father. And it was a reminder to us that we needed to stick close to that foundation of our faith, that would hold us through anything. During this season of Advent it's also a reminder that our houses, the things that are important to us on earth, won't last, but our Rock always will. If we place our trust in him when the weather is nice then our faith will sustain us when the winds come (or the mean wolf starts blowing.) I'm always reminded that its extremely difficult to build during a storm, so often we wait until the difficult times come to pray or develop a relationship with God, but if we would focus more on setting our hearts on his foundation during the good times, then we will be ready to face whatever the wolf has to throw at us.

God's little helpers

I never really liked baking until my son started to get old enough to help. Now it's something fun that we can do together. He loves to help measure and pour in the ingredients, stir, and of course eat the ingredients. I've even had him roll out pie crust. (I fully expect he will master making my mom's apple pie before I do.) Cooking with him always takes longer, it's guaranteed to be a LOT messier, and the finished product might not look quite as "perfect" as I would like it to, but it always tastes the same and it's always 100 times more fun that it would have been doing it myself. I love watching how the simplest thing like pouring in a cup of flour just amazes him, seeing his proud smile when I tell him what a great "stirrer" he is and most of all seeing how much it means to him to just be helping.
 Today's gospel is the story of the loaves and the fishes (Mt 15). It's one of my favorite stories because it's all about God's love being enough for everyone, just like with the story of the wine, it never runs out and it's better than any substitute. But the other thing I like about it is how our God knows us enough to know that just like my 2 1/2 year old, we want to be included. We want to feel important, do a good job and really help. Like so many of the miracles he performed, he made it a joint effort. I'm positive that he didn't NEED any help, just like i don't NEED any help making cookies or pie, but he wants us to be a part of it. How often have we been blessed enough to be used by God to do His work? He's just letting us pour in the flour because He loves seeing how much we enjoy it. Have you ever realized that the wine and the bread the Jesus chose as his body and blood are both things that have to be made by human hands? The grapes and the wheat are grown by God's earth, but to become bread and wine they must be crushed by us. Think there's any symbolism going on there? In order for the sacrament to happen, we must help. God does his part, but he lets us be included to. Not just included, but essential. The sacrament can't happen without human hands helping. It also means, that just as the grapes and the wine have to give all of themselves to be crushed and remade into something new, so do we if we want to be a part of his mission. We have to give our whole lives, which will probably involve crushing and breaking in order to help the way we are called to.  Just remember after the crushing and breaking, there is something so much better than simple grapes and wheat. God does the same with us. If we allow Him to, he will turn us into something so much better, but we have to be willing to let go of what we are now. Can you imagine what it felt like to have contributed the food the day he multiplied the loaves and fish?  You could have skipped all the way home and hardly touched the ground! I would have shouted it to everyone I knew: "He took MY bread and it fed thousands!" I'd still be walking around with a big goofy smile on my face.
We still have the opportunity every day to be a part of the work he does, just like those with food that day, we have to give our all, and trust that much will come back to us in return, especially the joy of being included.
As I was writing this I kept going back to a line in the song "In Me" by Casting Crowns: "How refreshing to know you don't need me, how amazing to know you still want me."

Here's a link to the song if you want to listen. It's a beautiful prayer.
http://youtu.be/0tzWbsiMx9w

My Little Secret

I have a secret...I try to keep it quiet because when people find out they tend to have a variety of negative responses: shock, anger, disbelief...ok, here it is.... i love the snow! Shhh....in Minnesota it's a dangerous thing to say, you might end up in a fight, or most likely shoveling someone else's sidewalk. But honestly, I do love it. Big storms or just light flurries just lift my spirits! Watching the flakes drift to the ground brings back so many memories of building snow forts, sledding, or just spending the day inside with no where to go.
It's amazing how something that is so fun when we are kids so quickly turns into something that we hate as adults. Instead of seeing the fun we see a driveway that needs to be shoveled, dangerous roads when we need to get to work and don't forget the cold temperatures.
In Luke 10:21-24 Jesus praises his father because he has hidden his wisdom from the wise but "revealed them to the childlike." We can apply the same approach to the snow as we can to the life that Jesus offers us. If we look like adults we are sceptical, we think of so many broken promises in our lives and have a difficult time trusting God will keep his. We see a difficult, long road full of trials, temptations and struggles. But if we look like a child it's the easiest decision in the world. We can see the joy in every day we're given, even the difficult ones. Adults don't like the snow because it gets in the way of their plans for their day. The life that Jesus calls us to gets in the way of our plans too, but if we only see the difficult parts we are completely missing the happiness and joy that far outweigh them.  Later in that verse Jesus says "blessed are the eyes that see what you see." Those that can see life like a child, who see opportunity instead of struggle find it much easier to follow to path that Jesus is calling them to. So next time the snow (or whatever challenge you're facing) starts piling up, instead to trying to scoop it out of your way, go sledding instead! Or make a snow angel, or a snow man, or a snow fort, or go skiing...the possibilities are endless!

It's about the Destination

The scriptures today are all about God's house, eternity, heaven. I work in an industry where we are faced with death on a regular basis. In one way, it's a difficult thing to lose your friends over and over again, but in another way it is a blessing because it keeps me so focused on the truth of what life really is about. This is not the end. It's easy when we are healthy, everything is going fine to lose sight of the finish line. When we lose our focus, we can start wandering and get off track, and before we know it we can't even see the road anymore and can't figure out why we can't find any meaning to what we're doing. But then a friend crosses the finish line, and while it's difficult to face the fact that they won't be running the race beside us anymore, it's the motivation we need to keep going so that we can eventually cross the finish line too. There are so many things that Jesus can do for us to help us through our journey, but most importantly he wants us to know that there is something better. We just have to make sure we don't get so distracted by what's going on on the sidelines that we forget the reason we are here, to FINISH the race. When visiting a parish a few weeks ago the priest mentioned in his homily that he had seen a quote in someones home that said, "it's not about the destination, it's about the journey" and the priest went on to say that while it seems like a nice saying, for us as Christians it really IS about the destination.
I heard at work today about multiple deaths involving Black Friday shopping. It's easy to see how some have clearly lost sight of their destination, but its a good reminder for all of us to check our hearts. Am I focused in Jesus? Am I living for Him, knowing this world is only a blink of an eye to our eternity with God, or am I so wrapped up in making this world my home that I've forgotten I'm even running a race? I'm guilty many days of setting up camp and forgetting what it's all about. I am thankful for advent, for scriptures like today and most of all for death that reminds me what I am here for.
God, keep my heart focused on you. When I get off track, please pull me back, and continue to remind me often of my purpose.

Advent....Here we go again...Stay Awake!

Happy First Sunday of Advent! I'm making an extra effort this year to really enjoy and grow during the advent season. Usually, I am dreading this time in preparation for Christmas because I'm a terrible gift giver so I stress about what to get all 546 people on our Christmas list. Ok, that might be a slight exaggeration but with all that focus on gifts before I know it Christmas has come and gone and I've spend the entire time thinking about presents and hardly a moment on the true purpose of advent, which I feel is said so well in the second reading at mass today from Romans:

"Brothers and sisters:
You know the time;
it is the hour now for you to awake from sleep.
For our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed;
the night is advanced, the day is at hand.
Let us then throw off the works of darkness
and put on the armor of light;" Rom 13:11-12

Advent is all about remembering that we aren't here for this life on earth, our future lies in heaven, and we must keep our focus there. It's so easy to get pulled into the crowd and put such a focus on "stuff" but Jesus came to show us that if our focus was on "stuff" we were missing the point of life completely. I have so many times where my faith dips up and down. Times where I really commit to prayer and other times where I feel so far from God and have not been making an effort to put Him first or pray often. St. Paul says we must "Awake from sleep" and he couldn't be more right. We have to wake up from our normal routines and as God to change our hearts, so we might be able to see with His eyes that this world has nothing that can satisfy the hunger we have for Jesus and to be with Him forever.

In an effort to make the Advent Season a little less about shopping and black friday and a little more about Jesus, I invited my family over for a baking and craft day. We make advent calendars that give your family something new each day to do to help us grow in holiness and we approach the holy day. They turned out very cool. I also included a scripture from the daily readings each day. Below is the list if you'd like to make one yourself!

December 1^st – 1^st Sunday in Advent – Rom 13:11-14 - Light one candle and say a prayer for your heart to be open and changed this advent. Put green in your house (Christmas tree, wreaths, etc)

December 2 – Mt 8:5-11 – Pray for someone who is sick or hurting. Send them a card, call or visit them.

December 3 – Lk 10:21-24 – Be childlike today! Play a game, stop to look at the stars, and laugh at silly things!

December 4 – Mt 15:29-37 – Bring food to a food drive or the food shelf.

December 5 – Mt 7:24-27 – Set up a nativity set. Play with it a little!

December 6 – Mt 9:27-31 – send a letter to someone who has impacted or changed your life (teacher, friend, aunt, etc.)

December 7 – Mt 10:6-8 – Give one of your toys to someone who needs it more (women’s shelter, toy drive, friend)

December 8 – 2^nd Sunday in Advent – Mt 3:10-12 – Light 2 candles, put lights on your tree and up around the house.

December 9 – Luke 1:26-38 – Do someone else’s chore for them today.

December 10 – Mt 18:12-14 – Talk to someone new or someone who’s alone today

December 11 – Mt 11:28-30 – Listen to your favorite Christian song, close your eyes and just rest in God while you listen.

December 12 – Luke 1:26-38 – Act out the bible story. Use garland for a halo and a sheet for Mary.

December 13 – Mt 11:16-19 – Try not to judge others today. Smile at EVERYONE you meet.

December 14 – Mt 17:9-13 – Make a popcorn string! Eat some too!

December 15 – 3^rd Sunday in Advent – Mt 11:2-5 – Add ornaments to your Christmas tree.

December 16 – Psalm 25:4-9 – Tell your family something you learned today.

December 17 – Mt 1: 16-17 – Make or wrap a gift for a grandparent.

December 18 – Mt 1:18-25 – Write nice messages to Dad on sticky notes and stick them all over the house where he’ll find them.

December 19 – Lk 1:5-25 – Wrap presents. Talk about gifts you’ve waited a long time for.

December 20 – Psalm 24:1-6 – Get in jammies and drive around and look at Christmas lights. Give an “award” to the best one with some goodies and a note.

December 21 – Lk 1:39-45 – Sing Christmas carols

December 22 – 4^th Sunday of Advent – Is 7:10-14 – Deliver Christmas gifts, put a treat for the mailman in the mailbox, etc.

December 23 – Lk 1:57-66 – Put $ in a vending machine for the next person or pay for the person behind you in the drive through.

December 24 – Lk 1:67-79 – Act out the Nativity story

December 25 – Luke 2:1-14 – Celebrate! Jesus is born! Make today holy by only saying nice things.

 

 

Did Jesus think God Abandoned Him on the cross?

Psalm 22:   My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?

Why so far from my call for help,

from my cries of anguish?^a

3My God, I call by day, but you do not answer;

by night, but I have no relief.^b

4Yet you are enthroned as the Holy One;

you are the glory of Israel.^c

5In you our fathers trusted;

they trusted and you rescued them.

6To you they cried out and they escaped;

in you they trusted and were not disappointed.^d

7^*But I am a worm, not a man,

scorned by men, despised by the people.^e

8All who see me mock me;

they curl their lips and jeer;

they shake their heads at me:^f

9“He relied on the LORD—let him deliver him;

if he loves him, let him rescue him.”^g

10For you drew me forth from the womb,

made me safe at my mother’s breasts.

11Upon you I was thrust from the womb;

since my mother bore me you are my God.^h

12Do not stay far from me,

for trouble is near,

and there is no one to help.ⁱ

13Many bulls^* surround me;

fierce bulls of Bashan^* encircle me.

14They open their mouths against me,

lions that rend and roar.^j

15Like water my life drains away;

all my bones are disjointed.

My heart has become like wax,

it melts away within me.

16As dry as a potsherd is my throat;

my tongue cleaves to my palate;

you lay me in the dust of death.^*

17Dogs surround me;

a pack of evildoers closes in on me.

They have pierced my hands and my feet

18I can count all my bones.^k

They stare at me and gloat;

19they divide my garments among them;

for my clothing they cast lots.^l

20But you, LORD, do not stay far off;

my strength, come quickly to help me.

21Deliver my soul from the sword,

my life from the grip of the dog.

22Save me from the lion’s mouth,

my poor life from the horns of wild bulls.^m

23Then I will proclaim your name to my brethren;

in the assembly I will praise you:^*n

24“You who fear the LORD, give praise!

All descendants of Jacob, give honor;

show reverence, all descendants of Israel!

25For he has not spurned or disdained

the misery of this poor wretch,

Did not turn away^* from me,

but heard me when I cried out.

26I will offer praise in the great assembly;

my vows I will fulfill before those who fear him.

27The poor^* will eat their fill;

those who seek the LORD will offer praise.

May your hearts enjoy life forever!”^o

IV

28All the ends of the earth

will remember and turn to the LORD;

All the families of nations

will bow low before him.^p

29For kingship belongs to the LORD,

the ruler over the nations.^q

30^*All who sleep in the earth

will bow low before God;

All who have gone down into the dust

will kneel in homage.

31And I will live for the LORD;

my descendants will serve you.

32The generation to come will be told of the Lord,

that they may proclaim to a people yet unborn

the deliverance you have brought.

-Psalm 22

I know the reading is long but I just couldn't cut anything out of this psalm. We are starting Holy Week and during the season we always read the Passion of Christ at least 2 or 3 times before Easter. One of the Gospels gives the account that Jesus cried out "My God, My God, why have you abandoned me?" just before he was about to die on the cross. Every year it always seemed a little off to me. Why did he say that? Did he really feel abandoned? Did he have a moment of doubt in his fathers plan after he had fully committed to it? Did he think that God would save his life and then felt betrayed when he didn't?
A couple years ago I finally found the answer. You see, I'm not as good of Catholic as I should be and I don't read the bible as much as I should. If I did, I would have known that Jesus wasn't calling out to God with that sentence. He was quoting scripture! He was quoting Psalm 22. Back in his time, the Psalms weren't numbered, they were refered to by the first line. Jesus wasn't having a moment of doubt at all, but instead he was pointing us back to scripture, and the good, bible-reading citizens at that time would have immediately made that connection and understood.
The first time I heard about the connection with Psalm 22, I quickly grabbed my bible and read the entire psalm, and I was stunned. All these years I had thought Jesus had a moment of doubt, when instead, he was using his last breaths to give praise to God! The psalm clearly shows unwaivering faith, even though things are terrible and get worse and worse, the author continues to praise God. Even though the present situation is difficult, he recalls past events when God has shown his mercy and saved him, and so he continues to praise God and have hope in Him.

I think this reading is so meaningful to me right now especially because my husband and I recently lost our child, Caden, to miscarriage. We've been married 5 1/2 years and have now lost 5 children. Each loss has been devestating and while I know God is here helping me through it, I can easily feel abandoned. It's really rocked me how difficult this loss of Caden has been. I guess since history and science have told us that carrying a pregnancy to full term is close to impossible for us, I think that maybe I won't get my hopes up, I won't get attached, and then it will be easier when it's over. But no matter how much I tell my brain that it won't work, a little piece of my heart still holds onto hope, and no matter how hard I try, I can't not love the tiny child growing inside of me. And so a few weeks later, here I am with another broken heart, trying to pick up the pieces all over again, wishing that time would fast forward to the point when it doesn't hurt just to breathe.
But I find so much comfort in Psalm 22. Because when we are going through something terrible it can be so easy just to focus on it and forget about everything good. There's a great quote in the book "The Shack" that says (paraphrasing here:) maybe you couldn't see me because you were so focused on your pain." How many times have we felt abandoned, or felt we really needed God and he wasn't there? Jesus is reminding us as he points us to Psalm 22 that in our darkest hour, when we feel all alone and things have never been worse, that we can't focus on our pain but instead remember all of the good that God has done for us and it will be proof that he is with us still and there is still reason to praise His name.

I know without a doubt that God was right there with Jesus on that cross because He was hanging up there with Him. I know all of the times in my life that He has been there for me and all of the blessings He has given me. So even though I'm yet again facing one of the most difficult times in my life, I know He is with me, and I know He deserves my praise!

Jesus, as we celebrate your ultimate victory over sin, help us to give you the praise you deserve. We suffer on this earth because we have to, but you suffered because you CHOSE to, because you loved us. I will never completely understand, but help me more and more each day and make my heart like yours. Heal our broken hearts and never allow our lips to stop praising your name.

All Because of You

 Hos 14:2-10

Thus says the LORD:
Return, O Israel, to the LORD, your God;
you have collapsed through your guilt.
Take with you words,
and return to the LORD;
Say to him, “Forgive all iniquity,
and receive what is good, that we may render
as offerings the bullocks from our stalls.
Assyria will not save us,
nor shall we have horses to mount;
We shall say no more, ‘Our god,’
to the work of our hands;
for in you the orphan finds compassion.”

I will heal their defection, says the LORD,
I will love them freely;
for my wrath is turned away from them.
I will be like the dew for Israel:
he shall blossom like the lily;
He shall strike root like the Lebanon cedar,
and put forth his shoots.
His splendor shall be like the olive tree
and his fragrance like the Lebanon cedar.
Again they shall dwell in his shade
and raise grain;
They shall blossom like the vine,
and his fame shall be like the wine of Lebanon.

Ephraim! What more has he to do with idols?
I have humbled him, but I will prosper him.
“I am like a verdant cypress tree”–
Because of me you bear fruit!

Let him who is wise understand these things;
let him who is prudent know them.
Straight are the paths of the LORD,
in them the just walk,
but sinners stumble in them.

 

This is the first reading for Mass today. I have to admit, I often avoid the writing about the old testament because unless you spend years studying theology we often don't understand it! There are so many prophesies and links to the new testament and hidden meanings, I never really know in what context I should be reading it. But today this one has a special meaning to me. God says that He will heal us, even though we have collapsed, he will pick us back up, and not only restore us to our original state but even bring us to splendor! "Because of me you bear fruit!" How true that is! This morning for devotion at work the reading was from 2 Cor. 12:9 "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."  It is so easy to forget when we are struggling or feeling inadequate that those are the perfect moments for our God to show his greatness. It is in the most difficult moments of my life, my biggest mistakes, my greatest failings and my most challenging struggles that he has done his greatest work, and has been glorified because of it.

 

Father, thank you for the constant reminder that your grace is sufficient. There is nothing else in this entire world that I need, and I know that because of You and ONLY because of you I will bear fruit. Apart from you I am nothing, I am broken into pieces, collapsed to the ground, but because of you I blossom like the vine. Thank you for your continued grace! I can find joy even in the darkest days because of it.

I'm not throwing in the towel, I'm tossing in the net instead!

Lk 5:
After he had finished speaking, he said to Simon,
“Put out into deep water and lower your nets for a catch.”
Simon said in reply,
“Master, we have worked hard all night and have caught nothing,
but at your command I will lower the nets.”
When they had done this, they caught a great number of fish
and their nets were tearing."

Wednesday we start the season of Lent. I don't know about you but I feel like we just got done with Advent. Sometimes I feel like Simon: exhausted! But Simon is smarter than most of us, because a lot of us might say back to Jesus, "but we are tired, and we have fasted and received reconciliation and prayed more and tried to change our lives so many times, but we still feel the same and still find ourselves giving in to the same temptations, too busy to make time for you."  Not Simon, because even though he is exhausted and even though experience tells him it is useless, He knows something we don't. He knows Jesus can amaze you when you least expect it. He made the blind see, turned water into wine, cured the sick, the list goes on and on. Simon knows if Jesus says so, I better listen, even if I am a little doubtful!

I know our God who performs miracles can definitely handle repairing my heart during lent and forming it into a heart more like his. I just have to be willing to toss in my net yet again.

 

Father, another opportunity to grow closer to you, another chance to re-focus my heart. Thank you for creating these seasons to keep me working to be closer to you and not coasting farther away. You made me, you know what I need so much more than I do. Please help me to see what I need, and most of all let me have a closer relationship with you.  

If everything is coming at you at once...

Mk 1:14-20

"After John had been arrested,
Jesus came to Galilee proclaiming the Gospel of God:
“This is the time of fulfillment.
The Kingdom of God is at hand.
Repent, and believe in the Gospel.”

As he passed by the Sea of Galilee,
he saw Simon and his brother Andrew casting their nets into the sea;
they were fishermen.
Jesus said to them,
“Come after me, and I will make you fishers of men.”
Then they left their nets and followed him.
He walked along a little farther
and saw James, the son of Zebedee, and his brother John.
They too were in a boat mending their nets.
Then he called them.
So they left their father Zebedee in the boat
along with the hired men and followed him"

 

I heard the best quote today: "If everything is coming at you at once, you might be driving in the wrong lane of traffic."

I've been working with high school students for a long time and I can't help but always point them back to the fact that our unhappiness, our struggles, our heartbreaks, the things that are causing us pain, are almost always because we aren't following where God is calling us. Why don't we trust him? He's our God who made us, who made the whole world! But we still think we know better what will make us happy. Then when it all goes wrong and our heart gets broken we turn our eyes to God and say "why did you do this to us?" I imagine Him just rolling his eyes, or raising an eyebrow sarcastically....What? God is sarcastic!? We are aren't we? Where do you think we got it from?

But seriously, while there are probably moments when he does laugh at us, I think those moments when we don't listen to his calling probably make him sad and frustrated, like the way I feel when my high school students fail to follow Him. Sad for the pain they are going to experience that they wouldn't have had to, sad for the wonderful life that was planned for them they are missing out on, and frustrated for the gifts they have that they aren't sharing with others that need them.

 

God, help me to remember that feeling when I am being called to do something that is difficult and I'm questioning your plan. Help me to remember the you are my God, and that you call me to do great things that lead to so much joy. Help me to continue to say "yes" every day.

 

Baby it's cold outside...and I'm loving it!

It’s so cold!!! 1 degree this morning. When I got out of the car tonight to rush inside I glanced at the stars and they caught me off guard. They were BEAUTIFUL!!! So clear and bright it felt like they were closer than they’d ever been. I stood there for a moment taking it in before I ran inside to get out of  cold. As I was running in, I thought how interesting that when the stars are the most beautiful we don’t notice because we are so focused on how cold it is and getting out of the cold. On the summer days, when we’re sitting out at the bonfire wishing and hoping for the stars, then we can’t see them as clearly and look back wishing we’d have enjoyed them when they were so clear in the winter. I see such a parallel with my faith life. I have found that in the “coldest” or most difficult moments of my life, I’ve been able to feel God’s presence more than ever. Often, He’s so close in those times but I’m so focused on the trial or struggle I’m going through I don’t take the time to appreciate the fact that I feel so close to him, I’m more worried about trying hard to get out of the difficult situation.  Then when life is going great and I’m praising him and want to feel that closeness, it’s still great, but just not as close as it was back then.  It’s a great reminder to me to quit focusing so much on the “cold” so I don’t miss out on the relationship God wants to have with me. There’s a great moment in the book The Shack where God tells him that he was there all along, and that maybe he couldn’t see his presence with him because he was so focused on his pain he couldn’t see anything else. 

God, thank you so much for the closeness we have shared, especially in some of the most difficult times in my life. I’m sorry if I didn’t appreciate them like I should have at the time, but I am so grateful for them. You have helped me through so much, I know I couldn’t do this life without you. Help me to continue to see you and to take the focus off of the “cold” and onto you. I love you.