It's about the Destination

The scriptures today are all about God's house, eternity, heaven. I work in an industry where we are faced with death on a regular basis. In one way, it's a difficult thing to lose your friends over and over again, but in another way it is a blessing because it keeps me so focused on the truth of what life really is about. This is not the end. It's easy when we are healthy, everything is going fine to lose sight of the finish line. When we lose our focus, we can start wandering and get off track, and before we know it we can't even see the road anymore and can't figure out why we can't find any meaning to what we're doing. But then a friend crosses the finish line, and while it's difficult to face the fact that they won't be running the race beside us anymore, it's the motivation we need to keep going so that we can eventually cross the finish line too. There are so many things that Jesus can do for us to help us through our journey, but most importantly he wants us to know that there is something better. We just have to make sure we don't get so distracted by what's going on on the sidelines that we forget the reason we are here, to FINISH the race. When visiting a parish a few weeks ago the priest mentioned in his homily that he had seen a quote in someones home that said, "it's not about the destination, it's about the journey" and the priest went on to say that while it seems like a nice saying, for us as Christians it really IS about the destination.
I heard at work today about multiple deaths involving Black Friday shopping. It's easy to see how some have clearly lost sight of their destination, but its a good reminder for all of us to check our hearts. Am I focused in Jesus? Am I living for Him, knowing this world is only a blink of an eye to our eternity with God, or am I so wrapped up in making this world my home that I've forgotten I'm even running a race? I'm guilty many days of setting up camp and forgetting what it's all about. I am thankful for advent, for scriptures like today and most of all for death that reminds me what I am here for.
God, keep my heart focused on you. When I get off track, please pull me back, and continue to remind me often of my purpose.

Advent....Here we go again...Stay Awake!

Happy First Sunday of Advent! I'm making an extra effort this year to really enjoy and grow during the advent season. Usually, I am dreading this time in preparation for Christmas because I'm a terrible gift giver so I stress about what to get all 546 people on our Christmas list. Ok, that might be a slight exaggeration but with all that focus on gifts before I know it Christmas has come and gone and I've spend the entire time thinking about presents and hardly a moment on the true purpose of advent, which I feel is said so well in the second reading at mass today from Romans:

"Brothers and sisters:
You know the time;
it is the hour now for you to awake from sleep.
For our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed;
the night is advanced, the day is at hand.
Let us then throw off the works of darkness
and put on the armor of light;" Rom 13:11-12

Advent is all about remembering that we aren't here for this life on earth, our future lies in heaven, and we must keep our focus there. It's so easy to get pulled into the crowd and put such a focus on "stuff" but Jesus came to show us that if our focus was on "stuff" we were missing the point of life completely. I have so many times where my faith dips up and down. Times where I really commit to prayer and other times where I feel so far from God and have not been making an effort to put Him first or pray often. St. Paul says we must "Awake from sleep" and he couldn't be more right. We have to wake up from our normal routines and as God to change our hearts, so we might be able to see with His eyes that this world has nothing that can satisfy the hunger we have for Jesus and to be with Him forever.

In an effort to make the Advent Season a little less about shopping and black friday and a little more about Jesus, I invited my family over for a baking and craft day. We make advent calendars that give your family something new each day to do to help us grow in holiness and we approach the holy day. They turned out very cool. I also included a scripture from the daily readings each day. Below is the list if you'd like to make one yourself!

December 1^st – 1^st Sunday in Advent – Rom 13:11-14 - Light one candle and say a prayer for your heart to be open and changed this advent. Put green in your house (Christmas tree, wreaths, etc)

December 2 – Mt 8:5-11 – Pray for someone who is sick or hurting. Send them a card, call or visit them.

December 3 – Lk 10:21-24 – Be childlike today! Play a game, stop to look at the stars, and laugh at silly things!

December 4 – Mt 15:29-37 – Bring food to a food drive or the food shelf.

December 5 – Mt 7:24-27 – Set up a nativity set. Play with it a little!

December 6 – Mt 9:27-31 – send a letter to someone who has impacted or changed your life (teacher, friend, aunt, etc.)

December 7 – Mt 10:6-8 – Give one of your toys to someone who needs it more (women’s shelter, toy drive, friend)

December 8 – 2^nd Sunday in Advent – Mt 3:10-12 – Light 2 candles, put lights on your tree and up around the house.

December 9 – Luke 1:26-38 – Do someone else’s chore for them today.

December 10 – Mt 18:12-14 – Talk to someone new or someone who’s alone today

December 11 – Mt 11:28-30 – Listen to your favorite Christian song, close your eyes and just rest in God while you listen.

December 12 – Luke 1:26-38 – Act out the bible story. Use garland for a halo and a sheet for Mary.

December 13 – Mt 11:16-19 – Try not to judge others today. Smile at EVERYONE you meet.

December 14 – Mt 17:9-13 – Make a popcorn string! Eat some too!

December 15 – 3^rd Sunday in Advent – Mt 11:2-5 – Add ornaments to your Christmas tree.

December 16 – Psalm 25:4-9 – Tell your family something you learned today.

December 17 – Mt 1: 16-17 – Make or wrap a gift for a grandparent.

December 18 – Mt 1:18-25 – Write nice messages to Dad on sticky notes and stick them all over the house where he’ll find them.

December 19 – Lk 1:5-25 – Wrap presents. Talk about gifts you’ve waited a long time for.

December 20 – Psalm 24:1-6 – Get in jammies and drive around and look at Christmas lights. Give an “award” to the best one with some goodies and a note.

December 21 – Lk 1:39-45 – Sing Christmas carols

December 22 – 4^th Sunday of Advent – Is 7:10-14 – Deliver Christmas gifts, put a treat for the mailman in the mailbox, etc.

December 23 – Lk 1:57-66 – Put $ in a vending machine for the next person or pay for the person behind you in the drive through.

December 24 – Lk 1:67-79 – Act out the Nativity story

December 25 – Luke 2:1-14 – Celebrate! Jesus is born! Make today holy by only saying nice things.

 

 

Did Jesus think God Abandoned Him on the cross?

Psalm 22:   My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?

Why so far from my call for help,

from my cries of anguish?^a

3My God, I call by day, but you do not answer;

by night, but I have no relief.^b

4Yet you are enthroned as the Holy One;

you are the glory of Israel.^c

5In you our fathers trusted;

they trusted and you rescued them.

6To you they cried out and they escaped;

in you they trusted and were not disappointed.^d

7^*But I am a worm, not a man,

scorned by men, despised by the people.^e

8All who see me mock me;

they curl their lips and jeer;

they shake their heads at me:^f

9“He relied on the LORD—let him deliver him;

if he loves him, let him rescue him.”^g

10For you drew me forth from the womb,

made me safe at my mother’s breasts.

11Upon you I was thrust from the womb;

since my mother bore me you are my God.^h

12Do not stay far from me,

for trouble is near,

and there is no one to help.ⁱ

13Many bulls^* surround me;

fierce bulls of Bashan^* encircle me.

14They open their mouths against me,

lions that rend and roar.^j

15Like water my life drains away;

all my bones are disjointed.

My heart has become like wax,

it melts away within me.

16As dry as a potsherd is my throat;

my tongue cleaves to my palate;

you lay me in the dust of death.^*

17Dogs surround me;

a pack of evildoers closes in on me.

They have pierced my hands and my feet

18I can count all my bones.^k

They stare at me and gloat;

19they divide my garments among them;

for my clothing they cast lots.^l

20But you, LORD, do not stay far off;

my strength, come quickly to help me.

21Deliver my soul from the sword,

my life from the grip of the dog.

22Save me from the lion’s mouth,

my poor life from the horns of wild bulls.^m

23Then I will proclaim your name to my brethren;

in the assembly I will praise you:^*n

24“You who fear the LORD, give praise!

All descendants of Jacob, give honor;

show reverence, all descendants of Israel!

25For he has not spurned or disdained

the misery of this poor wretch,

Did not turn away^* from me,

but heard me when I cried out.

26I will offer praise in the great assembly;

my vows I will fulfill before those who fear him.

27The poor^* will eat their fill;

those who seek the LORD will offer praise.

May your hearts enjoy life forever!”^o

IV

28All the ends of the earth

will remember and turn to the LORD;

All the families of nations

will bow low before him.^p

29For kingship belongs to the LORD,

the ruler over the nations.^q

30^*All who sleep in the earth

will bow low before God;

All who have gone down into the dust

will kneel in homage.

31And I will live for the LORD;

my descendants will serve you.

32The generation to come will be told of the Lord,

that they may proclaim to a people yet unborn

the deliverance you have brought.

-Psalm 22

I know the reading is long but I just couldn't cut anything out of this psalm. We are starting Holy Week and during the season we always read the Passion of Christ at least 2 or 3 times before Easter. One of the Gospels gives the account that Jesus cried out "My God, My God, why have you abandoned me?" just before he was about to die on the cross. Every year it always seemed a little off to me. Why did he say that? Did he really feel abandoned? Did he have a moment of doubt in his fathers plan after he had fully committed to it? Did he think that God would save his life and then felt betrayed when he didn't?
A couple years ago I finally found the answer. You see, I'm not as good of Catholic as I should be and I don't read the bible as much as I should. If I did, I would have known that Jesus wasn't calling out to God with that sentence. He was quoting scripture! He was quoting Psalm 22. Back in his time, the Psalms weren't numbered, they were refered to by the first line. Jesus wasn't having a moment of doubt at all, but instead he was pointing us back to scripture, and the good, bible-reading citizens at that time would have immediately made that connection and understood.
The first time I heard about the connection with Psalm 22, I quickly grabbed my bible and read the entire psalm, and I was stunned. All these years I had thought Jesus had a moment of doubt, when instead, he was using his last breaths to give praise to God! The psalm clearly shows unwaivering faith, even though things are terrible and get worse and worse, the author continues to praise God. Even though the present situation is difficult, he recalls past events when God has shown his mercy and saved him, and so he continues to praise God and have hope in Him.

I think this reading is so meaningful to me right now especially because my husband and I recently lost our child, Caden, to miscarriage. We've been married 5 1/2 years and have now lost 5 children. Each loss has been devestating and while I know God is here helping me through it, I can easily feel abandoned. It's really rocked me how difficult this loss of Caden has been. I guess since history and science have told us that carrying a pregnancy to full term is close to impossible for us, I think that maybe I won't get my hopes up, I won't get attached, and then it will be easier when it's over. But no matter how much I tell my brain that it won't work, a little piece of my heart still holds onto hope, and no matter how hard I try, I can't not love the tiny child growing inside of me. And so a few weeks later, here I am with another broken heart, trying to pick up the pieces all over again, wishing that time would fast forward to the point when it doesn't hurt just to breathe.
But I find so much comfort in Psalm 22. Because when we are going through something terrible it can be so easy just to focus on it and forget about everything good. There's a great quote in the book "The Shack" that says (paraphrasing here:) maybe you couldn't see me because you were so focused on your pain." How many times have we felt abandoned, or felt we really needed God and he wasn't there? Jesus is reminding us as he points us to Psalm 22 that in our darkest hour, when we feel all alone and things have never been worse, that we can't focus on our pain but instead remember all of the good that God has done for us and it will be proof that he is with us still and there is still reason to praise His name.

I know without a doubt that God was right there with Jesus on that cross because He was hanging up there with Him. I know all of the times in my life that He has been there for me and all of the blessings He has given me. So even though I'm yet again facing one of the most difficult times in my life, I know He is with me, and I know He deserves my praise!

Jesus, as we celebrate your ultimate victory over sin, help us to give you the praise you deserve. We suffer on this earth because we have to, but you suffered because you CHOSE to, because you loved us. I will never completely understand, but help me more and more each day and make my heart like yours. Heal our broken hearts and never allow our lips to stop praising your name.

All Because of You

 Hos 14:2-10

Thus says the LORD:
Return, O Israel, to the LORD, your God;
you have collapsed through your guilt.
Take with you words,
and return to the LORD;
Say to him, “Forgive all iniquity,
and receive what is good, that we may render
as offerings the bullocks from our stalls.
Assyria will not save us,
nor shall we have horses to mount;
We shall say no more, ‘Our god,’
to the work of our hands;
for in you the orphan finds compassion.”

I will heal their defection, says the LORD,
I will love them freely;
for my wrath is turned away from them.
I will be like the dew for Israel:
he shall blossom like the lily;
He shall strike root like the Lebanon cedar,
and put forth his shoots.
His splendor shall be like the olive tree
and his fragrance like the Lebanon cedar.
Again they shall dwell in his shade
and raise grain;
They shall blossom like the vine,
and his fame shall be like the wine of Lebanon.

Ephraim! What more has he to do with idols?
I have humbled him, but I will prosper him.
“I am like a verdant cypress tree”–
Because of me you bear fruit!

Let him who is wise understand these things;
let him who is prudent know them.
Straight are the paths of the LORD,
in them the just walk,
but sinners stumble in them.

 

This is the first reading for Mass today. I have to admit, I often avoid the writing about the old testament because unless you spend years studying theology we often don't understand it! There are so many prophesies and links to the new testament and hidden meanings, I never really know in what context I should be reading it. But today this one has a special meaning to me. God says that He will heal us, even though we have collapsed, he will pick us back up, and not only restore us to our original state but even bring us to splendor! "Because of me you bear fruit!" How true that is! This morning for devotion at work the reading was from 2 Cor. 12:9 "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."  It is so easy to forget when we are struggling or feeling inadequate that those are the perfect moments for our God to show his greatness. It is in the most difficult moments of my life, my biggest mistakes, my greatest failings and my most challenging struggles that he has done his greatest work, and has been glorified because of it.

 

Father, thank you for the constant reminder that your grace is sufficient. There is nothing else in this entire world that I need, and I know that because of You and ONLY because of you I will bear fruit. Apart from you I am nothing, I am broken into pieces, collapsed to the ground, but because of you I blossom like the vine. Thank you for your continued grace! I can find joy even in the darkest days because of it.

I'm not throwing in the towel, I'm tossing in the net instead!

Lk 5:
After he had finished speaking, he said to Simon,
“Put out into deep water and lower your nets for a catch.”
Simon said in reply,
“Master, we have worked hard all night and have caught nothing,
but at your command I will lower the nets.”
When they had done this, they caught a great number of fish
and their nets were tearing."

Wednesday we start the season of Lent. I don't know about you but I feel like we just got done with Advent. Sometimes I feel like Simon: exhausted! But Simon is smarter than most of us, because a lot of us might say back to Jesus, "but we are tired, and we have fasted and received reconciliation and prayed more and tried to change our lives so many times, but we still feel the same and still find ourselves giving in to the same temptations, too busy to make time for you."  Not Simon, because even though he is exhausted and even though experience tells him it is useless, He knows something we don't. He knows Jesus can amaze you when you least expect it. He made the blind see, turned water into wine, cured the sick, the list goes on and on. Simon knows if Jesus says so, I better listen, even if I am a little doubtful!

I know our God who performs miracles can definitely handle repairing my heart during lent and forming it into a heart more like his. I just have to be willing to toss in my net yet again.

 

Father, another opportunity to grow closer to you, another chance to re-focus my heart. Thank you for creating these seasons to keep me working to be closer to you and not coasting farther away. You made me, you know what I need so much more than I do. Please help me to see what I need, and most of all let me have a closer relationship with you.  

If everything is coming at you at once...

Mk 1:14-20

"After John had been arrested,
Jesus came to Galilee proclaiming the Gospel of God:
“This is the time of fulfillment.
The Kingdom of God is at hand.
Repent, and believe in the Gospel.”

As he passed by the Sea of Galilee,
he saw Simon and his brother Andrew casting their nets into the sea;
they were fishermen.
Jesus said to them,
“Come after me, and I will make you fishers of men.”
Then they left their nets and followed him.
He walked along a little farther
and saw James, the son of Zebedee, and his brother John.
They too were in a boat mending their nets.
Then he called them.
So they left their father Zebedee in the boat
along with the hired men and followed him"

 

I heard the best quote today: "If everything is coming at you at once, you might be driving in the wrong lane of traffic."

I've been working with high school students for a long time and I can't help but always point them back to the fact that our unhappiness, our struggles, our heartbreaks, the things that are causing us pain, are almost always because we aren't following where God is calling us. Why don't we trust him? He's our God who made us, who made the whole world! But we still think we know better what will make us happy. Then when it all goes wrong and our heart gets broken we turn our eyes to God and say "why did you do this to us?" I imagine Him just rolling his eyes, or raising an eyebrow sarcastically....What? God is sarcastic!? We are aren't we? Where do you think we got it from?

But seriously, while there are probably moments when he does laugh at us, I think those moments when we don't listen to his calling probably make him sad and frustrated, like the way I feel when my high school students fail to follow Him. Sad for the pain they are going to experience that they wouldn't have had to, sad for the wonderful life that was planned for them they are missing out on, and frustrated for the gifts they have that they aren't sharing with others that need them.

 

God, help me to remember that feeling when I am being called to do something that is difficult and I'm questioning your plan. Help me to remember the you are my God, and that you call me to do great things that lead to so much joy. Help me to continue to say "yes" every day.

 

Baby it's cold outside...and I'm loving it!

It’s so cold!!! 1 degree this morning. When I got out of the car tonight to rush inside I glanced at the stars and they caught me off guard. They were BEAUTIFUL!!! So clear and bright it felt like they were closer than they’d ever been. I stood there for a moment taking it in before I ran inside to get out of  cold. As I was running in, I thought how interesting that when the stars are the most beautiful we don’t notice because we are so focused on how cold it is and getting out of the cold. On the summer days, when we’re sitting out at the bonfire wishing and hoping for the stars, then we can’t see them as clearly and look back wishing we’d have enjoyed them when they were so clear in the winter. I see such a parallel with my faith life. I have found that in the “coldest” or most difficult moments of my life, I’ve been able to feel God’s presence more than ever. Often, He’s so close in those times but I’m so focused on the trial or struggle I’m going through I don’t take the time to appreciate the fact that I feel so close to him, I’m more worried about trying hard to get out of the difficult situation.  Then when life is going great and I’m praising him and want to feel that closeness, it’s still great, but just not as close as it was back then.  It’s a great reminder to me to quit focusing so much on the “cold” so I don’t miss out on the relationship God wants to have with me. There’s a great moment in the book The Shack where God tells him that he was there all along, and that maybe he couldn’t see his presence with him because he was so focused on his pain he couldn’t see anything else. 

God, thank you so much for the closeness we have shared, especially in some of the most difficult times in my life. I’m sorry if I didn’t appreciate them like I should have at the time, but I am so grateful for them. You have helped me through so much, I know I couldn’t do this life without you. Help me to continue to see you and to take the focus off of the “cold” and onto you. I love you.