Stand Up Straight

This year for lent on the suggestion of a LifeTeen article of weird things to give up or do for Lent, I chose "standing up straight." Anyone who knows me knows I am a terrible sloucher. My mother tried with constant "stand up straight's" throughout my childhood but it never met with much more than eye rolling and pulling my shoulders back for a few seconds to make her happy. So, I decided this might be just the challenge I need. Well, "challenge" is the perfect word. This has by far been the hardest thing I've ever done for lent. I'm constantly realizing that I'm slouching and correcting my posture. It's definitely doing it's job getting me thinking about God throughout the day as I'm sure I'm correcting myself more than 20 times a day. After the first day my back was sore from using muscles I wasn't used too and some days it's just really hard to stand up straight when I'm really tired.
Today, I was having an extra tough time standing up straight and thought to myself how this really has been one of the worst times to have taken on this challenge. I've been sick, like the full-on FLU sick, THREE times during lent already! THREE! We added two new toddlers to our then one-toddler house hold (that's a total of THREE if you lost count) so I am more exhausted than I've ever been. And today we lost our sixth child to miscarriage. Today, and a lot of days during this lent, but especially today, I didn't want to stand up straight. And when I thought about correcting myself part of me wanted to say "can't I just get a free pass today God?" What I really wanted to do when I got off the phone with the nurse with my lab results was curl up in a ball in my bed for the rest of the day and cry, not stand up straight. But all three toddlers were up from their nap and I had promised we'd go outside and blow bubbles. So I stood up straight and out we went. Well ok, thirty minutes later after herding all the kids into the entry way, tracking down all the coats, shoes and hats, chasing at least two back into the entry way after their escape, putting hats on for the third time, THEN out we went. And when I stepped out the door I was met with a wonderful surprise: it was beautiful weather! Here in Minnesota we've had a cold winter that just never seems to end. We just got a few inches of snow last night, and this morning the ground was covered with ice and snow. But by this afternoon it was calm and sunny, the snow had mostly melted and it was light jacket weather. I sat on the deck blowing bubbles with the kids, watching them splash in the puddles and just soaked in the warm sunshine. I wish I could share the beautiful view I had from my deck this afternoon that made me realize why it was so important to God that I chose to stand up straight this Lent. See what I would be missing if I was in bed? And not just what I would be missing today. Today is my son's third birthday. It's amazing to think of the blessing he has been to us and all of the joy he has brought us. I am so very glad we chose to quit sulking and stand up to the challenge God was facing us with when we agreed to take care of him. I didn't think I had the strength to do what I was being asked then, and I know I don't have the strength to stand up straight on a day like today and that is one of the things I love most about my God. "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in your weakness." 2 Cor 12:9 Thank you, thank you, thank you for making me strong when I am weak and helping me see the joy over the sorrow.