Do you think I'll ever finish a cup of coffee before it gets cold again? Take a bite of a meal that's hot? Or sit down to a meal at the beginning instead of when everyone is half finished? Go for a run without stopping to break up a fight in the jogging stroller, read a book in my hammock, finish a phone conversation when I want to, give a conversation my attention, use something nice without it getting broken...the list goes on and on. Today I was thinking these thoughts as I at my cold supper after 6 trips up from the table to get the kids more food, more milk, a trip to the potty with my 2 year old that's potty training, you get the picture. It's so easy for me to think of how life used to be and miss the luxuries I had. But today I was hit with the realization that actually it won't be long and I probably will get to finish my coffee while it's warm. Our two toddlers are leaving us next week and we'll go back to the much quieter life of raising one toddler. That's when I discovered how much I love cold coffee.
It's not fair, really, that they come and turn our life upside-down and test our patience and make us laugh and melt our hearts with their sweet, sweet smiles and the funny things that come out of their mouths. It's not fair that I got to hear him say his first long sentence, be sarcastic and make the cutest fake sleeping noise in the world. It's not fair that she finally trusts me, learned to pedal a bike after hours of practicing with her, and is so proud of herself for mastering the art of "going potty". I guess what's really not fair is how many mom's and dad's get all of that and more with their kids every day and never appreciate it's significance. And I know when the day comes that I get to hug them for the last time and say goodbye forever, the only thing going through my mind is going to be "it's not fair." But God, that's when I really really need you to remind me that it really isn't fair. It's really not fair that I got to be a part of their amazing little lives and experience the love and joy they brought me. I am blessed more than many. So for that, I am grateful: for the fact that I am once again reminded that we are never promised tomorrow and we MUST not miss the tiny moments that make this life so wonderful. It's easy for so many of us to look at our lives and feel we've had such a difficult road, a bad hand dealt, but if our hearts are open how many more blessings have we been given if only we take the time to notice? I've often hear it said those who have hurt a lot have loved a lot.
Father, help me to quit focusing on my cold coffee and instead see the blessings you've placed in front of me.
Had to add this, read the gospel for today and it is so, so perfect for this post and what I'm going through right now:
Gospel jn 16:20-23
Jesus said to his disciples:
“Amen, amen, I say to you, you will weep and mourn,
while the world rejoices;
you will grieve, but your grief will become joy.
When a woman is in labor, she is in anguish because her hour has arrived;
but when she has given birth to a child,
she no longer remembers the pain because of her joy
that a child has been born into the world.
So you also are now in anguish.
But I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice,
and no one will take your joy away from you.
On that day you will not question me about anything.
Amen, amen, I say to you,
whatever you ask the Father in my name he will give you.”
THANK YOU GOD FOR BEING SO GOOD TO ME! I know this pain will turn into joy soon :) and I love you!
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