My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord

Lk 1:46-56

Mary said:

"My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord;
my spirit rejoices in God my savior.
for he has looked upon his lowly servant.
From this day all generations will call me blessed:
the Almighty has done great things for me,
and holy is his Name.
He has mercy on those who fear him
in every generation.
He has shown the strength of his arm,
and has scattered the proud in their conceit.
He has cast down the mighty from their thrones
and has lifted up the lowly.
He has filled the hungry with good things,
and the rich he has sent away empty.
He has come to the help of his servant Israel
for he remembered his promise of mercy,
the promise he made to our fathers,
to Abraham and his children for ever."

Today is the birthday of my first child. Jaden was the first of four children that we lost to recurrent pregnancy loss. The day we lost Jaden I can remember crying more than I ever had in my life. I had thought I had experienced painful and difficult things up until that point, and then I realized those things were just scratches, and this was my heart being ripped out of my body.

And then I held Peyton in the palm of my hand, counting her tiny fingers and toes and I was sure my heart would stop beating because I couldn't possibly imagine living through that pain.

When they told us Mason had no heartbeat I couldn't feel anything anymore. I couldn't even yell at God, I shut Him out completely. It was a long road and many prayers to get from that dark place to the day when I was able to say "OK God, my life is yours, if you don't want me to have children, I'm OK with that, I trust you." I know so many other amazing women who are struggling with infertility and pregnancy loss. I know so many people battling cancer and disease. I've seen the heartbreak of divorce on the faces of parents and children, and every day we see a new struggle. Everyone has some battle they are fighting right? That's why I love Christmas. Because Jesus came to be rest for the weary and love for the broken heart. He didn't cause my pain, but He came to heal me anyway. I love this prayer of Mary, whose beautiful faith never faulters. Although she's being asked to walk a difficult road, she still "proclaims the greatness of the Lord!"

When I looked up this verse this morning, I was so excited because it was so fitting for today. Today is a difficult day for me. I want nothing more than to be getting ready for a birthday party, and all the memories of that day 5 years ago come flooding back. But I am so glad that even though its a difficult day, I can honestly say "my soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord!" He has kept his promises to me, He has given me what I need and so much more. "The almighty has done great things for me."

 

Jesus, thank you for your greatness, thank you for your healing, thank you for keeping your promises. Give me faith like Mary to continue to praise your name, no matter the circumstance. I love you. Amen.

 

There are so many songs that have gotten me through difficult times, I was having a hard time chosing just one for this post, so here are a few to pray you through something difficult: