Healing for the hurting

Mt 2:13-18

When the magi had departed, behold,
the angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream and said,
"Rise, take the child and his mother, flee to Egypt,
and stay there until I tell you.
Herod is going to search for the child to destroy him."
Joseph rose and took the child and his mother by night
and departed for Egypt.
He stayed there until the death of Herod,
that what the Lord had said through the prophet might be fulfilled,
Out of Egypt I called my son.

When Herod realized that he had been deceived by the magi,
he became furious.
He ordered the massacre of all the boys in Bethlehem and its vicinity
two years old and under,
in accordance with the time he had ascertained from the magi.
Then was fulfilled what had been said through Jeremiah the prophet:

A voice was heard in Ramah,
sobbing and loud lamentation;
Rachel weeping for her children,
and she would not be consoled,
since they were no more.

I have such a hard time reading this part of the gospel. I am also the type of person that has to turn off the news because I can't stand all the evil I see. With the recent elementary school shooting coverage there was definitely a moment when I had to just sit and sob that there could be such evil in our world. I have that same feeling when I read this verse. To even start to think about an entire city of babies murdered...my mind can't even comprehend that. Times like this when our whole country cries and people question "how can someone do something like that" or find somewhere to place the blame and most of all we know in our hearts it goes against everything we are. We know we were NOT made for such evil, but we were made for good, for greatness. I encourage you when people get discouraged, when those evil acts bring fear and unrest and heartbreak and anger, to point them to the one who came to save us from all of it. Today is a day where I find myself getting sucked into the negativity,  and I have to remind myself that the King of Peace wants to share that peace with me. When Jesus came it didn't mean evil left the world, but it did mean healing entered. So that's what I'm celebrating this Christmas season, that there is healing for our hurting world.

"Come, Lord Jesus, Come. Come and fill our hearts with your love. Hold me close, Lord, hold me tight. and Come Lord Jesus Come."

My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord

Lk 1:46-56

Mary said:

"My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord;
my spirit rejoices in God my savior.
for he has looked upon his lowly servant.
From this day all generations will call me blessed:
the Almighty has done great things for me,
and holy is his Name.
He has mercy on those who fear him
in every generation.
He has shown the strength of his arm,
and has scattered the proud in their conceit.
He has cast down the mighty from their thrones
and has lifted up the lowly.
He has filled the hungry with good things,
and the rich he has sent away empty.
He has come to the help of his servant Israel
for he remembered his promise of mercy,
the promise he made to our fathers,
to Abraham and his children for ever."

Today is the birthday of my first child. Jaden was the first of four children that we lost to recurrent pregnancy loss. The day we lost Jaden I can remember crying more than I ever had in my life. I had thought I had experienced painful and difficult things up until that point, and then I realized those things were just scratches, and this was my heart being ripped out of my body.

And then I held Peyton in the palm of my hand, counting her tiny fingers and toes and I was sure my heart would stop beating because I couldn't possibly imagine living through that pain.

When they told us Mason had no heartbeat I couldn't feel anything anymore. I couldn't even yell at God, I shut Him out completely. It was a long road and many prayers to get from that dark place to the day when I was able to say "OK God, my life is yours, if you don't want me to have children, I'm OK with that, I trust you." I know so many other amazing women who are struggling with infertility and pregnancy loss. I know so many people battling cancer and disease. I've seen the heartbreak of divorce on the faces of parents and children, and every day we see a new struggle. Everyone has some battle they are fighting right? That's why I love Christmas. Because Jesus came to be rest for the weary and love for the broken heart. He didn't cause my pain, but He came to heal me anyway. I love this prayer of Mary, whose beautiful faith never faulters. Although she's being asked to walk a difficult road, she still "proclaims the greatness of the Lord!"

When I looked up this verse this morning, I was so excited because it was so fitting for today. Today is a difficult day for me. I want nothing more than to be getting ready for a birthday party, and all the memories of that day 5 years ago come flooding back. But I am so glad that even though its a difficult day, I can honestly say "my soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord!" He has kept his promises to me, He has given me what I need and so much more. "The almighty has done great things for me."

 

Jesus, thank you for your greatness, thank you for your healing, thank you for keeping your promises. Give me faith like Mary to continue to praise your name, no matter the circumstance. I love you. Amen.

 

There are so many songs that have gotten me through difficult times, I was having a hard time chosing just one for this post, so here are a few to pray you through something difficult:

 

 

 

Perfect Timing

Lk 1:5-25

In the days of Herod, King of Judea,
there was a priest named Zechariah
of the priestly division of Abijah;
his wife was from the daughters of Aaron,
and her name was Elizabeth.
Both were righteous in the eyes of God,
observing all the commandments
and ordinances of the Lord blamelessly.
But they had no child, because Elizabeth was barren
and both were advanced in years.

Once when he was serving as priest
in his division's turn before God,
according to the practice of the priestly service,
he was chosen by lot
to enter the sanctuary of the Lord to burn incense.
Then, when the whole assembly of the people was praying outside
at the hour of the incense offering,
the angel of the Lord appeared to him,
standing at the right of the altar of incense.
Zechariah was troubled by what he saw, and fear came upon him.

But the angel said to him, "Do not be afraid, Zechariah,
because your prayer has been heard.
Your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son,
and you shall name him John.
And you will have joy and gladness,
and many will rejoice at his birth,
for he will be great in the sight of the Lord.
He will drink neither wine nor strong drink.
He will be filled with the Holy Spirit even from his mother's womb,
and he will turn many of the children of Israel
to the Lord their God.
He will go before him in the spirit and power of Elijah
to turn the hearts of fathers toward children
and the disobedient to the understanding of the righteous,
to prepare a people fit for the Lord."

Then Zechariah said to the angel,
"How shall I know this?
For I am an old man, and my wife is advanced in years."
And the angel said to him in reply,
"I am Gabriel, who stand before God.
I was sent to speak to you and to announce to you this good news.
But now you will be speechless and unable to talk
until the day these things take place,
because you did not believe my words,
which will be fulfilled at their proper time."
Meanwhile the people were waiting for Zechariah
and were amazed that he stayed so long in the sanctuary.
But when he came out, he was unable to speak to them,
and they realized that he had seen a vision in the sanctuary.
He was gesturing to them but remained mute.

Then, when his days of ministry were completed, he went home.

After this time his wife Elizabeth conceived,
and she went into seclusion for five months, saying,
"So has the Lord done for me at a time when he has seen fit
to take away my disgrace before others."

 

I know this is a long verse but its such a beautiful story I couldn't take only a part of it. And yet, the story of Elizabeth and Zechariah is only a part of an even more beautiful story, the story of Jesus. I can relate to this verse so much, because like Elizabeth, I am unable to have children. Although, in her time, I think it was a much more difficult thing because it "disgraced" a woman. I can imagine that they spent years praying and wishing and hoping for a child, and to them, their prayers went unanswered for all those years. And I imagine that after so many years had passed they grieved and accepted it and learned to move on. So we can understand the shock for Zechariah when the angel came in, in my words it would have gone something like "um...well, i wasn't even praying for that. I mean, it's a nice gesture but that was like 200 prayers ago, maybe could I get something more suited to my age...maybe a nice lake home?" Ok, we shouldn't make fun of Zechariah, but haven't we all found ourselves in his position at some point? I find so often its easy to want God's blessings but ONLY on our time or our schedule. When the blessings come differently than we had planned or pictured, we have a hard time seeing them as blessings. But His timing is always going to be better than ours. Zechariah and Elizabeth could have been blessed with a baby way back when they were praying for one, and it would have been just fine, just like the life they planned. But they would have missed out on being a part of history - giving birth to one of the most amazing men to walk the planet! I'm sure it wasn't the nice quiet retirement they were planning on, and I'm sure it took a lot of sacrifice from both of them, but I'm also quite sure they would both say it was worth it.
What blessings have you received lately that were "out of place" or the "timing wasn't right?"
Our perfect God doesn't do anything randomly and He doesn't make mistakes. His timing is always perfect.

Father, please give me faith and open my eyes to see the blessings you've given me, whatever shapes and sizes and whenever they come along. Help me to see the difficult things you're asking me to do as blessings that will bring a greater joy and a greater good. Amen. 

The World in Christmas Lights

Mt 11:11-15

Jesus said to the crowds:
"Amen, I say to you,
among those born of women
there has been none greater than John the Baptist;
yet the least in the Kingdom of heaven is greater than he.
From the days of John the Baptist until now,
the Kingdom of heaven suffers violence,
and the violent are taking it by force.
All the prophets and the law prophesied up to the time of John.
And if you are willing to accept it,
he is Elijah, the one who is to come.
Whoever has ears ought to hear.

 

John the Baptist was sent to "prepare the way of the Lord" or get us ready for Jesus! He was a radical, but so was Jesus! I was driving through town thinking how beautiful all the Christmas lights are and how, if every house was lit up to give glory to God, what a beautiful thing that would be. I just think about outdoor lights as more "stuff" that probably gets in the way of the true meaning of Christmas. But what if those lights on houses and trees are preparing the way of the Lord? What a great statement, as we drive through town, that each house with lights is making a statement: "Jesus is the light of our lives!" How beautiful to see an entire cities FAITH in lights! In our politically correct world, we often keep our faith to ourselves, not wanting to impose it on anyone, but our Christmas lights are our public statement to the world that this is a CHRISTIAN home and we are ready for Jesus to come! And maybe one person on the block wouldn't have lights and would wonder what the lights were all about. Then, in true John the Baptist fashion, we could help get them ready for Jesus to come into their lives. This Advent Season as I drive through town and see the lights, it brings me more joy than ever before. I'm just beaming thinking: "Look at all these Christians! Jesus must be so proud!"

 

Jesus, thank you for being the light in our lives. Thank you for the way you love us and bless us. Help me to let your light shine to others, so that I may lead others to you like John the Baptist. May my daily actions and conversations all shine the light of your presence and prepare others to meet you. Amen.

I'm Being Chased!

Mt 18:12-14

Jesus said to his disciples:
"What is your opinion?
If a man has a hundred sheep and one of them goes astray,
will he not leave the ninety-nine in the hills
and go in search of the stray?
And if he finds it, amen, I say to you, he rejoices more over it
than over the ninety-nine that did not stray.
In just the same way, it is not the will of your heavenly Father
that one of these little ones be lost."

 

When I read this, I always have a tendency to think I'm one of the 99, and Jesus left to go find the atheists, thief's, and murderers. Just like the parable of the prodigal son, I always feel like I'm the "good son" in that story too. But what struck me today is that I'm NOT the 99, I'm the ONE! I'm the one who strayed from the path time and time again, I'm the one who denied him, who made mistakes. I'm the one who sinned. And it made me feel so much more loved and special than these verses ever have, because he came chasing after me! It's what Christmas is all about, he left the 99 in heaven and came down to earth looking for me. It's so hard to understand sometimes why he loves us that much, we probably never will fully grasp it, but today I am thankful for it. Thankful for a God who loves me enough to come after me. 

 

Father, your words in this parable are so comforting but also so hard to understand. I can't wrap my head around the love you have for me. Thank you for the way you love me. Please continue to guide me, so you don't have to chase after me anymore and, if I may be so blessed to be in your service, that I may lead others to you. Thank you for your greatness. I love you. Amen. 

Baby Steps in the Snow

Luke 1:26-38

The angel Gabriel was sent from God
to a town of Galilee called Nazareth,
to a virgin betrothed to a man named Joseph,
of the house of David,
and the virgin's name was Mary.
And coming to her, he said,
"Hail, full of grace! The Lord is with you."
But she was greatly troubled at what was said
and pondered what sort of greeting this might be.
Then the angel said to her,
"Do not be afraid, Mary,
for you have found favor with God.
Behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son,
and you shall name him Jesus.
He will be great and will be called Son of the Most High,
and the Lord God will give him the throne of David his father,
and he will rule over the house of Jacob forever,
and of his Kingdom there will be no end."
But Mary said to the angel,
"How can this be,
since I have no relations with a man?"
And the angel said to her in reply,
"The Holy Spirit will come upon you,
and the power of the Most High will overshadow you.
Therefore the child to be born
will be called holy, the Son of God.
And behold, Elizabeth, your relative,
has also conceived a son in her old age,
and this is the sixth month for her who was called barren;
for nothing will be impossible for God."
Mary said, "Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord.
May it be done to me according to your word."
Then the angel departed from her."

 

We got our first real snow of the winter in Minnesota last night. I LOVE snow and was so excited to be able to take my 1 1/2 year old sledding, make snowmen and just run around in it. Just one problem...he's afraid of it! He was all excited to go outside this morning so my husband got him all dressed up and opened the door but instead of running out like he usually does, he just stood there in the doorway looking out onto the deck which was covered with a couple inches of white fluff. No amount of coaxing from Dad could get him to even try to step a foot out onto that unknown surface. I guess I don't blame him, it has to be pretty scary and seem pretty strange. It wouldn't be much different than if we woke up tomorrow and the whole yard was covered with purple fluff, we probably wouldn't just step right out into it either. Mary did though. Mary had such a beautiful faith and trust in her God. She had to take a huge step. What she was asked was something no one had ever been asked to do before and hers was even more extreme that just "not knowing". Mary knew when she said 'yes' that she was putting herself in danger. In her time, women were often stoned to death for committing adultery, which is what would be assumed when she was found to be pregnant and unmarried. When we step out into the purple fluff, we just aren't sure what we're getting into, it could be dangerous, maybe not.  Mary knew the ridicule she would face, the shame she would bring on her family, and the danger her life was in, but she trusted in the Lord, and just said 'yes'.  And because of her faith, she became the most blessed human being in history, second only to Christ. Can you imagine her relationship with God, to have him actually live inside her for 9 months? To watch him grow up, to be the one that got all of his little hugs and kisses, and to spend every day with him? Kind of makes you wonder what Mary's plan for her life was before this. I suppose she thought she would marry and become a mother just like all the other young women. But maybe there was always a little whisper that she was made for more than 'normal', that she was more than 'ordinary', that she was destined to do something great. 

It's scary, taking that step into the unknown, especially if we are almost certain that it will be difficult or painful, but if our God is telling us it's going to be ok, if he's trying to coax us out, we have to trust him. What fun or awesomeness is waiting for us to say "yes"! Even if we don't have the strength to jump in completely, even a baby step is a step in the right direction. So, quit standing in the doorway and take that first step!

 

Mary, please pray for us, that we can have faith like yours, to say yes to the things that we are being called to do that are scary or unknown.

Rocks, Stockings & Reconcilation

Mt 7:21, 24-27

Jesus said to his disciples:
"Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,'
will enter the Kingdom of heaven,
but only the one who does the will of my Father in heaven.

"Everyone who listens to these words of mine and acts on them
will be like a wise man who built his house on rock.
The rain fell, the floods came,
and the winds blew and buffeted the house.
But it did not collapse; it had been set solidly on rock.
And everyone who listens to these words of mine
but does not act on them
will be like a fool who built his house on sand.
The rain fell, the floods came,
and the winds blew and buffeted the house.
And it collapsed and was completely ruined."

 

OK, I don't know how relevant this is going to be, but I just have to share; tonight we had communal reconciliation at St. Leo's. For anyone not familiar, it's a prayer service with music, scripture and a reflection and then people are given the opportunity to celebrate the sacrament of reconciliation by confessing their sins to a priest, praying the act of contrition, and receiving forgiveness and grace. It's a beautiful sacrament. I've been to communal reconciliation at a lot of retreats, but I've never been to it at St. Leo's and I was in for a surprise!  Father got done with his part and sent the 5 priests off to their "places" to begin meeting with people individually, they didn't so much as get seated in their chairs when all the sudden almost the entire congregation was on their feet swarming to the priests. In just a matter of minutes the lines were 20 or 30 people long waiting to meet with Jesus in the sacrament. Once those left in the pews realized what was happening, they hurried to jump in line too!
Now, I couldn't help but let out a little chuckle as I was watching all this happen, and I thought, "I am either witnessing something very beautiful or very sad." Because I like to give people the benefit of the doubt, we're going to say I witnessed something very beautiful tonight. That the people in that church were so moved by the scripture, so moved by the love of their Father and so eager to be reuinted with Him that they couldn't wait even one more second and they had to get up and run to Him. I think what happened in that church tonight is exactly what would happen if Jesus physically walked into the church. I think we would jump up, swarm to him, wanting nothing more than to embrace Him, and feel his healing touch. I doubt anybody would be thinking, hurry up and get to him first so we can go home first. I guess this does go right back to building our houses on rock or sand. Do we see our encounters with Jesus as tasks to check off our list, or as important as the air we breathe? The things I place importance in tells me where I'm building my house. Where I spend my time is where I choose to build my house. The words I use, the way I prioritze my life, the way I treat my family, the way I treat strangers, the way I celebrate Christmas....they are all decisions that set me either on the sand or the rock of Christ.

I have heard His words, there are no excuses there, how am I going to act on them? I'm starting with Christmas Stockings. Following the footsteps of St. Nicholas, filling our stockings with good deeds. Filling our own stockings with slips of paper with all the good deeds we did for others that day. Filling each others stockings with prayers we are offering for them, kind words, encouragement, and treats. Hopefully they are STUFFED by the time Christmas is here!

Jesus, thank you for the blessings you give us in the sacraments, most of all the opportunity to meet with you in an amazing way. Help me to remember each sacrament, each prayer, each moment of the day that you are present with me. It is so easy to let other less-important things get in the way and seem more important. When that happens, remind me, and re-focus my heart. Amen.

What's hidden in the Christmas Tree?

Lk 10:21-24

Jesus rejoiced in the Holy Spirit and said,
"I give you praise, Father, Lord of heaven and earth,
for although you have hidden these things
from the wise and the learned
you have revealed them to the childlike.
Yes, Father, such has been your gracious will.
All things have been handed over to me by my Father.
No one knows who the Son is except the Father,
and who the Father is except the Son
and anyone to whom the Son wishes to reveal him."

Turning to the disciples in private he said,
"Blessed are the eyes that see what you see.
For I say to you,
many prophets and kings desired to see what you see,
but did not see it,
and to hear what you hear, but did not hear it.

 

Looking at my beautiful, bare christmas tree was a good reminder again of how we can lose sight of the beauty that is "hidden" underneath. I saw a devotion once that talked about the true meaning of Christmas hidden in the Christmas tree, if you took away all the lights, all the decorations and even the green needles, you'd be left with a simple cross (the trunk and the branches). God's ultimate "I love you" symbol. We are SLOWLY decorating our house for Christmas this year, trying to follow the Catholic tradition of the time before christmas as the season of Advent that is waiting for Christ and preparing our hearts, and then really celebrating at Christmas. So, the bare christmas tree is a reminder that Christmas is coming, but it's not here yet. We'll be adding lights and decorations as Christmas gets closer, each with a purpose. Just another attempt to re-focus our hearts! It's also a lot of fun with a toddler in the house, since each decorating addition is very exciting to him and he gets a few days to be amazed by it before we add something else. God really does reveal things to us so simply, I don't think he's hiding things from us, it's just we have complicated things so much we can't see what's underneath anymore. A child, on the other hand, just sees the simple and appreciates it's beauty. Today, I feel that Jesus also says to us "blessed are the eyes that see what you see". I have always felt very blessed that I sometimes see the world differently than many, and today is no exception. I am so blessed because millions of people will look at a Christmas tree and just see another Christmas decoration, but now whenever I see a Christmas tree, I see the cross of Christ and I am reminded of His unimaginable love for me.

 

Father, thank you for the beauty that you have hidden right in the open for us to discover. Thank you for always reminding me what is important and what life is really about. Please help me to see underneath the clutter in life to the true message and blessings you have set out for me. And thank you for allowing me to be blessed enough to "see what others did not". Amen.