Super-Mom and the Saints: To Discourage and Inspire

I've always been intimidated by "super-moms". You know one I'm sure, they always look their best, they are on every committee and at every social function, their kids only eat the healthiest foods, their house is spotless and they never EVER speak a harsh word. Super-moms can inspire us to strive to be better, but more often they discourage us. We come in late to the only social outing we've been to in months, realize as soon as we see her that we haven't showered in two days. We already feel like we shouldn't have left the house. And then she starts talking about how wonderful her children are and how much she enjoys being a mom, and that's when we start to think we must be doing something wrong, because we love our children but wow are they naughty sometimes and some days we have to send them all to separate rooms just to get everyone to stop fighting and some days we have to walk to the mailbox just to be "away" from our little blessings before we lose it. And the more and more we hear from this super-star mom who has done all the research on essential oils and 65 discipline strategies to raise a confident child, the more and more we begin to wonder if we even have what it takes to be a mom. We start to think parenting should be reserved for those few who seem to have it all figured out.

I was reflecting on this last year on All Saint's Day, as our church celebrates the lives of some of the greatest known Catholics in the world. They are people who were super-star Christians. They loved to the point of death. They gave up all they had. They imitated Christ by touching the lepers, teaching the masses, giving all that they owned to the poor. It might be easy to take a quick look at their incredible accomplishments and be discouraged. "I could never give that much" we might think. "I'm not capable of that kind of faith, to leave everything behind, to suffer or die for Jesus." "I have too many failings to ever be a saint."


But the beauty of Saints is in their stories. They weren't perfect. They did have sins. They struggled with doubt, with fear, with anger, with so many temptations. They weren't overly talented or some even educated. I can look to saints and allow them to inspire me because they have walked in my shoes. They have struggled with these same sins, these same feelings of failure, and they have allowed Gods grace to take over. Some of them, many of them, never ever saw the fruit of their sacrifice on this earth. When I read their stories, I know I really can be a saint, because it has so very little to do with me, and so much to do with the grace of God. Because these saints were so imperfect, and God brought them to perfection, it means he can do the same with me. It means there's a contribution I can make, even sinful me.


Super-moms could do this same thing for all of us, but we all need to realize something: They aren't really super. Let's be honest, there are a lot of really incredible moms out there, and that is a wonderful thing, but none of them are perfect. Some of them could do better to take off their masks and let the rest of the world see their flaws, and in doing so they could inspire us all. But most of the time, they aren't really hiding their flaws. We see them as "super" because we see things in them that we can't master. She always brings delicious homemade baked goods and I always have to peel the price tag off of mine.  Her hair and makeup is always perfect and I didn't even look in the mirror yet this morning. Or my favorite, her children are so well behaved and mine....well a lot of you have met them.  But while I'm admiring her baking skills, she's admiring someone else's patience and wishing she could be like that "super-mom".  She really is just like you, she just has a different failing.


And while I have yet to have anyone admit to this, if you really do believe you are super-mom...then you never really will be. One of the greatest traits of the saints was their ability to see their flaws and offer them to God and diligently work to correct them. Because we can't fix what we don't realize is broken. So that means if you feel like you're a very long way from being a super-mom or a saint there's good news: you're already on your way.


As we added two new children to our home this month, I've been hearing a lot of really nice and heartfelt comments from people. But they put a "super-mom" cape on me that I have no interest in wearing. So hear me when I say that I love your kind words and they lift me up on days when I am struggling, but I NEED you to also know that I am so far from the mom I want to be. When you say "I don't know how you do it." I usually respond, "I don't." Meaning, I don't have it all together, we make it through each day, and some days I'm not confident we will! Most days I do not speak in the loving tone I would like to. Most days I have no idea how to teach my kid to stop pushing his sister down. Most days, when we go out in public I'm just praying we can all get in and out of the car safely and I don't lose anyone. I usually feel like we are such a mess at any type of public outing that there's no need to remind others I'm not wearing a cape. I'm thinking about the pile of dishes I left in the sink, the fact that I have to make a path to walk through certain parts of the house, and that my kids ate McDonalds twice this week, and [please stop hitting your brother!!!] that I can't finish a sentence without interrupting it to break up a fight or chase a runaway kid. But apparently sometimes the chaos I see doesn't translate to the rest of the world, who see their own struggle with their one or two children and feel discouraged because they couldn't possibly imagine parenting six.


You could. You can. You WILL do whatever God has laid before you, and you will do it with grace. Not because you are so wonderful, but because you aren't. And because you know it. And because you will surrender it to the grace of God, and He will raise you up to whatever He has called you to.

"I consider that the sufferings of this present time are as nothing compared with the glory to be revealed for us." Rom 8:18