Recently, a friend sent me a text message about Matthew 6:25-34. Here are the first few verses: "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat [or drink], or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds in the sky; they do not sow or reap, they gather nothing into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are not you more important than they? Can any of you by worrying add a single moment to your life-span?"
There are a lot of times in my life when a verse has been presented at exactly the right time and was an answer to a prayer or I just knew that God was reminding me of something. But when I got this verse I was puzzled, because I had just read the exact verse the night before in the book "My Sisters the Saints" (another great one). The verse hadn't stuck out to me at all when I read it the night before, and I really didn't understand the significance of it in the text message either. But in my experience, it's usually not a coincidence to be presented with the same verse in a span of less than 12 hours. I decided to "ponder" the verse that day as there must be something God is trying to tell me.
It didn't hit me until later that morning after reading an email from a social worker concerning our foster girls. I've always thought about this verse in terms of money which is why it wasn't registering with me as relevant. But I realized it wasn't about money at all but that I can get consumed with worry over our foster children and what might happen to them. As a parent we worry about our kids but feel to some extent like we have some level of control over their future. It may be unrealistic the level of control we feel we have, but it's there to some degree. There is no illusion as foster parents though, we know and have to deal with the fact that we have no control. We love kids as our own while other people make decisions about their well-being and future. We get taken on a roller coaster ride of up and down emotions as plans change. And since we can't control it, we worry about it. We worry about where they might end up and if they'll be safe and loved. We worry about the affect it will have on them if they don't return home. We worry about every possible scenario as their future is so unknown. I worry about the affect the change of them being here and the change if they were to leave would have on my children. I worry about a million other scenarios.
And then Jesus says "Do not worry about your life..." The words peacefully drifted through my mind as I finished reading the email and I knew it was all going to be ok. Not that this situation might go the way I want it to, but that no matter what, it will be ok. "Can any of you by worrying add a single moment to your life span?" Not one moment of worry will make these kids stay safe longer. But the worry does rob me from time with them. It steals my joy. It makes me more distant because I'm playing out a thousand different scenarios in my mind. It makes me tense and not the carefree, fun mom I desire to be. Most of all, it makes it really hard to see the hope of Christ in me. Because worry is the opposite of hope. And worry can easily turn into fear, and it gets really hard to love with fear in our hearts.
So how do I stop worrying when precious lives hang in the balance? Jesus goes on to say:
"Why are you anxious about clothes? Learn from the way the wild flowers grow. They do not work or spin. But I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was clothed like one of them. If God so clothes the grass of the field, which grows today and is thrown into the oven tomorrow, will he not much more provide for you, O you of little faith? So do not worry and say, ‘What are we to eat?’ or ‘What are we to drink?’ or ‘What are we to wear?’All these things the pagans seek. Your heavenly Father knows that you need them all.But seek first the kingdom [of God] and his righteousness,* and all these things will be given you besides. Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself. Sufficient for a day is its own evil."
I came up with three steps to help me try to worry less:
1. One day at a time. Be a good mom today, in this moment. Stop letting worrying about who will love them later get in the way of loving them now.
2. "Seek first the kingdom of God." Keep my eyes on heaven, remember that all of this will pass away, and God has all of us in His hands, so no matter what happens, we have hope.
3. Remember that I have boots. Today was our first snow of the season and we watched from the window as it started to fall and continued to fall through the afternoon. It didn't seem to let up for hours, and began to start accumulating. I was reminded how often in life it feels like a storm comes and just won't let up. It seems like bad piles on top of bad and the depth of it seems to be too much for a person to handle. And we can spend the afternoon and our lifetimes looking out the window in despair as we watch it pile up, or we can do what my kids did: remember we have boots, coats, hats and gloves, and go make the most of it. "will he not much more provide for you". He gives us what we need for the weather we are given. If I'm facing something difficult, then He will give me courage and strength. If I'm facing a situation to worry, then He will give me peace. He is always there for us to put on to protect us from the storm. I just have to put on my boots and get out there. The fun is waiting and I'll never find it worrying and watching from the window.
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