I love Autumn. I love the crunch of the leaves when I walk, the coziness of warm sweaters and boots, my hand wrapped around a coffee sweetened with some sort of pumpkin flavoring, and the joy of harvest as the farmers experience the relief and satisfaction of bringing in the fruit of their labor.
That being said, I also cringe a lot this time of year. It's also the time we celebrate Halloween and it's a holiday I'm just not sure what to do about. Maybe you're with me. You get uncomfortable with the witches and ghosts and scary movies and zombie decorations on your neighbors lawn. You aren't a fan of your children demanding candy in return for an agreement to not vandalize the neighborhood. Maybe you think a holiday shouldn't be an excuse to dress in incredibly revealing or inappropriate clothing. Or most of all, as a Christian, the holiday of Halloween seems to be more against your beliefs than aligned with them.
The problem is, it's not the holiday that's the problem, it's the way we celebrate it. I had the initial reaction many years ago to just avoid the holiday all together and not celebrate it, writing it off as an unimportant holiday about candy and one more excuse for a party. But I quickly found out I was wrong (first time ever, ha!).
Halloween is a Catholic holiday, a celebration of All Saints Day, a day that has become quite lost in the commercialized celebration of Halloween. On All Saints Day (Nov 1) we remember and celebrate all the Holy men and women in heaven. There are a bunch of great reasons that this is important, but the one on my heart today is the power and importance of knowing someone else has been there too. In my current jump into parenting 4 young children, I have found myself drawn to and reaching out to anyone else who has parented twins or multiple young children, or children with disabilities. Asking questions about how they did things (aka survived) and getting advice (they give more practical tips than just "start closet drinking" that people with only two kids give). But most importantly, it brings me so much encouragement just to know someone else has done this before.
It can be done.
It can be done well.
It can even be done gracefully.
When I see these families, then I know that I can do it to. I can learn from them, but most of all,
I am inspired by them.
The Saints do exactly that for us. They have been in our shoes, ordinary people facing difficult situations, and their beautiful witness of the way they followed Christ serves as a lesson and source of inspiration for us.
Their stories tell us following Christ can be done.
It can even be done gracefully.
So, what do we do about Halloween then with it's devil costumes, and bloody murder victims on the kids walk to school? Well after a lot of thought, here's how my Christian family is celebrating Halloween:
Attending Mass for All Saints Day.
Because going trick or treating and not going to Mass is like opening presents but not going to Christmas Mass. Pray for, honor and celebrate all our loved ones at this Mass! This is what Halloween is all about. Just like with all the holidays (Christmas, Easter, etc) make sure all the activities point to Mass and that it's the main event, not just "fit it" around the other stuff.
Carving pumpkins.
There are a lot of stories about the origins of this tradition, I'll let you google for yourselves. It can be a fun one if done right. Some talk about God scooping out the bad and putting his light inside of us while carving. Others carve Christian images like crosses. We are going to start our own tradition and use the opportunity to honor our family who have passed away by carving their initials, names, or something that reminds us of them, and say a prayer for them when we light the candle.
Costumes.
Dressing up is so fun for kids and adults. The important thing for me is to keep costumes on the fun side and not scary. It's supposed to be a celebration of life, not death! Some people chose to dress up like a saint and learn about them in the process - awesome if you are an organized mom! (Maybe when my kids get older we will do this, this year they are getting tossed into whatever cow/puppy/superhero costume has been handed down from their cousins.) I think no matter what you dress up as it's a good opportunity to talk about how there are no limitations with God and what He might ask us to do or be!
Host a Party/Visit the Elderly
There are a few great options for what do do once you're all dressed up. We chose not to let our kids go door-to-door for quite a few reasons, this is a personal choice and doesn't mean it can't be a fun way to celebrate by bringing joy to friends and family. We either invite friends to our house for a Halloween party where we can control the atmosphere and decorations and the kids still get tons of candy, or visit our local Nursing Home where the residents hand out candy and enjoy seeing the kids in costume. Consider going on a different day and handing out candy TO the residents and staff instead. Teaching kids the joy of giving just like the saints! I've also seen kids go door to door asking for donations for the food shelf instead of candy.
Candy.
Ok, any excuse to eat candy is a good one, but this especially is an opportunity to celebrate Heaven. It's a joy to be a Christian remember?! Because the end of our story is happy!! If you hand out candy to trick-or-treaters, being joyful Christians is a witness in itself! But if you want to go further, consider taping a bible verse or prayer to the candy.
I think the important thing to remember is to continue reminding our kids (and ourselves) through the ways that we celebrate just WHY we celebrate. Halloween has gotten to where it is today because the message got lost. Unfortunately I can't control that someone on a street I drive by has hanging corpses in a tree and I have to try to avert my 4-year-old's eyes or spend the rest of the drive answering his questions about it and the rest of the night soothing him after night mares from scary commercials he saw on TV. What I can do is "be the change I wish to see" (Gandhi). My family can celebrate the Eve of All Saints Day in a fun way as we keep the night holy. Happy Celebrating!!
Tuesday, October 20, 2015
Thursday, October 8, 2015
Let Me Clean Your Bathroom
It’s been a weird combination of events that at the same
time we ended up adding not one but two new babies to our family, quite a few
of my closest friends were going through some big life changes as well, including two families who moved into new houses.
At our age and with multiple kids in tow already, moving is difficult and I wanted to offer a helping hand. The problem is, having four kids of my own, three of them still babies, I don’t exactly have a lot of free hands available. Actually, I’m in the market for an extra one if anyone knows how I can do that.
But even though I had “my hands full” as people like to say, I couldn’t let these big moments of their lives where they needed their friend’s help pass by without helping. So, when it came time for moving, I packed up my crew and came to help, even though I was afraid I might be just adding to the chaos instead of helping. And when I got there, that’s exactly what I felt. I spent most of the time chasing my kids, feeding my kids, and trying to keep my kids from making an even bigger mess. My friends both reassured me they were just happy I was there to offer moral support, but I really wanted to contribute, and at both houses after asking what I could do for about the fifth time, I was asked:
“Well... you could clean my bathroom...”
They were both reluctant to ask, but I was happy to have a way to help where I could still keep an eye on my kids. It didn’t strike me until I was scrubbing the tub in my second friends bathroom in just a couple weeks, how honored I felt to be asked to do such a task.
I know... you are thinking I need better friends. But think about it: we don’t let anybody else clean our bathrooms but us, do we? Because it’s the most intimate room of our house, and it’s gross. It’s dirty and we’d prefer no one else have to deal with our mess. There are just a few select people usually in our lives that we will let into our house on it’s worst day, and there are maybe only one or two in the world that we’d let clean our bathroom.
I have never felt so privileged as I slowly scrubbed away layers of dirt and grime on my hands and knees. And I realized how often I hide my mess from others. My sin, my worst moments, the things I try and fail and try and fail at. I don’t want to others to see it, much less have to clean it up! I realized as I was scrubbing that I have to stop that. I have to start inviting people in to my mess. Because it’s an honor to be invited into that space, and because frankly, without them it might never get clean.
I've been holding on to this post for a while now, and this week it made sense why it was waiting until now. This week was a tough one, for no particular reason. I just started to feel "not good enough" for this calling. Comparing myself to other moms and not measuring up. Listening to all the wrong voices pointing out my flaws and telling me I can't do this. My house was a disaster, the bills were overdue, and the kids were crying more than usual (it's a lot of crying with three babies in the house even if they are happy, you can imagine when one has an ear infection and another has a cold and the third is jealous and knows crying gets you picked up.) It was one of those weeks when I was tempted to put on a front, close the bathroom door and hide my mess. Instead, I opened the door. I let my friends see my messy house and less-than-par parenting skills. I cried about feeling inadequate and overwhelmed. And a really beautiful thing happened: Grace.
My dear friend spoke words of encouragement that healed my soul. My neighbor sent a huge pot of the most delicious Beef Stew I've ever eaten home with my husband so I didn't have to fix a few meals. My friends came and canned applesauce that I would have never gotten done on my own. And my incredible four year old put on a song at exactly the right time that I absolutely needed to hear:
Hold You Up - Shane Harper
I'm so blessed my angels come in the form of some very good friends and the cutest 4 year old I know. Thanks for helping clean up my mess! Let me return the favor and clean your bathroom sometime ok?
At our age and with multiple kids in tow already, moving is difficult and I wanted to offer a helping hand. The problem is, having four kids of my own, three of them still babies, I don’t exactly have a lot of free hands available. Actually, I’m in the market for an extra one if anyone knows how I can do that.
But even though I had “my hands full” as people like to say, I couldn’t let these big moments of their lives where they needed their friend’s help pass by without helping. So, when it came time for moving, I packed up my crew and came to help, even though I was afraid I might be just adding to the chaos instead of helping. And when I got there, that’s exactly what I felt. I spent most of the time chasing my kids, feeding my kids, and trying to keep my kids from making an even bigger mess. My friends both reassured me they were just happy I was there to offer moral support, but I really wanted to contribute, and at both houses after asking what I could do for about the fifth time, I was asked:
“Well... you could clean my bathroom...”
They were both reluctant to ask, but I was happy to have a way to help where I could still keep an eye on my kids. It didn’t strike me until I was scrubbing the tub in my second friends bathroom in just a couple weeks, how honored I felt to be asked to do such a task.
I know... you are thinking I need better friends. But think about it: we don’t let anybody else clean our bathrooms but us, do we? Because it’s the most intimate room of our house, and it’s gross. It’s dirty and we’d prefer no one else have to deal with our mess. There are just a few select people usually in our lives that we will let into our house on it’s worst day, and there are maybe only one or two in the world that we’d let clean our bathroom.
I have never felt so privileged as I slowly scrubbed away layers of dirt and grime on my hands and knees. And I realized how often I hide my mess from others. My sin, my worst moments, the things I try and fail and try and fail at. I don’t want to others to see it, much less have to clean it up! I realized as I was scrubbing that I have to stop that. I have to start inviting people in to my mess. Because it’s an honor to be invited into that space, and because frankly, without them it might never get clean.
I've been holding on to this post for a while now, and this week it made sense why it was waiting until now. This week was a tough one, for no particular reason. I just started to feel "not good enough" for this calling. Comparing myself to other moms and not measuring up. Listening to all the wrong voices pointing out my flaws and telling me I can't do this. My house was a disaster, the bills were overdue, and the kids were crying more than usual (it's a lot of crying with three babies in the house even if they are happy, you can imagine when one has an ear infection and another has a cold and the third is jealous and knows crying gets you picked up.) It was one of those weeks when I was tempted to put on a front, close the bathroom door and hide my mess. Instead, I opened the door. I let my friends see my messy house and less-than-par parenting skills. I cried about feeling inadequate and overwhelmed. And a really beautiful thing happened: Grace.
My dear friend spoke words of encouragement that healed my soul. My neighbor sent a huge pot of the most delicious Beef Stew I've ever eaten home with my husband so I didn't have to fix a few meals. My friends came and canned applesauce that I would have never gotten done on my own. And my incredible four year old put on a song at exactly the right time that I absolutely needed to hear:
When it's coming apart, you had it all.
It wasn't enough. No, it's not enough.
They tell you it's not worth the price, so just let it go.
But you know you can't. You know you won't.
It wasn't enough. No, it's not enough.
They tell you it's not worth the price, so just let it go.
But you know you can't. You know you won't.
It's not easy, no.
Finding the words to say.
When you're feeling lost, you'll find your way.
Finding the words to say.
When you're feeling lost, you'll find your way.
The world is so broken and sometimes it leaves you cold.
And at times you can't feel the fire to guide you home.
The demons will haunt you and try to steal what you know.
But the angels, they brought you, and they're gonna hold you up.
They're gonna hold you up.
And at times you can't feel the fire to guide you home.
The demons will haunt you and try to steal what you know.
But the angels, they brought you, and they're gonna hold you up.
They're gonna hold you up.
I'm so blessed my angels come in the form of some very good friends and the cutest 4 year old I know. Thanks for helping clean up my mess! Let me return the favor and clean your bathroom sometime ok?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)