A Little Light for the Darkness

My friend pulled up while I was untangling Christmas lights on the front porch. I had them all rolled up nicely last year when I put them away, but the kids got into them before I put them up and now I had 5 strands all in one big knot. I knew when they didn't come free easily at first that I didn't really have the time to mess with them. What was supposed to be a 5 minute project was turning into more than an hour. But I just kept trying. Sometimes pretty desperately just pulling and shaking hoping for the best... and when that didn't work, taking more time to look closely to maneuver each strand free. I took a break when my friend arrived and returned to it later a few times throughout the day. I should have been doing other things, but I finally had them all free and quickly wrapped them around the rails of the front porch. I wasn't expecting it to be pretty, I just wanted light. The kids love Christmas lights, and I knew I didn't have the time or patience to put up a lot, but I wanted them to have at least a little something to look at. And the first night, when it got dark and they popped on, I was pleasantly surprised with how nicely they did look even though I really only spent 5 minutes hanging them up. But I was more surprised how much I really needed to see the light.

It's so dark this time of year. The sun didn't officially rise today until 7:57 am, and set at 4:51 pm. That's less than 9 hours of light in a 24 hour day. More darkness than light. It's how our life has been feeling the last few months. Its sometimes how we view the world when we turn on the news.


This is why we celebrate Christmas now. The church planted Christmas here in this dark time for a reason. Because the world was dark and broken. There was so much war and hatred and there was such little hope. But then God sent Light into the world. He didn't come in blaring or with a strike of lightening, but quietly, so quietly that no one would have noticed at all had it not been for that star and those angels. He plopped a light in the middle of all that darkness and from now on the darkness would never overcome the light.


I need to look out onto my front porch and see light when the sun is fading before I've even begun to think about supper time. When the dark feels like it isolates us from the neighbors we can see in the light. Their houses haven't moved but our perceptions of them change at night. If it weren't for their lights, I wouldn't realize they are still there at all. Darkness separates us from people.


In the light of day I can see beauty, God's creation all around me. My body needs the sun to actually survive. I am made this way, to long for it. So its natural that this season of so much darkness doesn't feel right.


I am also made to long for holiness, goodness, righteousness. It's natural that I feel so out of place in a world that is so filled with sin, hurt, death.


There are two approaches to dealing with the darkness closing in. We can just give in and accept this is the reality of the season we are in OR...we can put up our own lights.


Last week I was having a particularly sad week when I picked Nathaniel up from school which included walking down the hallway just an hour before the beginning of Christmas break. The entire building was radiating joy. Every teacher was smiling, students were filled with expectation and excitement. It was infectious. Halfway through the walk I felt lighter, and by the time I left the building I was beaming. I sent up a prayer of thanksgiving for this wonderful Christian school that my son gets to attend, and I got back in the car with a lifted spirit. It was beautiful to see the Christian mission in action in that way, truly sharing the JOY of the gospel.


I'm sure there were plenty people in the school that day that had reasons to be sad. This season of Christmas especially we have been keeping in mind those who are finding this season a difficult one. As we are missing our little boy, we think of so many others we know who are spending their first Christmas's without their loved ones.  We also remember how hard Christmas used to be when we were mourning the loss of the babies we never got to hold in our arms. This season that is supposed to be so joyful can feel just the opposite when the people we love aren’t here to share in the joy.

But this is actually exactly WHY we celebrate.  We aren’t celebrating all that is good in this world but we’re celebrating that the world is broken and hurting and pretty wrong sometimes and God sent his son here to enter into it with us and save us from it. The world was dark, and he sent the light. In this season, when there is more darkness than light, we hang lights out on our front porches, and light up the darkness. Nathaniel's school did that for me last week; tossed some light into my darkness.

This is the gift (reminder) of Christmas for all of us: That everyone has a reason to celebrate, especially those in their darkest moments, because Jesus came exactly to save us from them, to bring light to the darkest places, hope to the most hopeless situations. I can’t see a solution for so many of the situations we encounter and are wrapped up in every day with foster care, but He promises to fix it all someday and only asks me to trust him until I see His face again. So until then, we celebrate, and those of us who don’t feel like celebrating this year are the ones who have most reason too! We're the ones that really need to be saved from this world. And if we've lost hope, maybe it's because we placed our hope in this world, and not in the one who created it.

And when our hope is in Jesus, then the darkness will never overtake us. And this is a reason to celebrate.

Every year, our family puts on pajamas and santa hats, fills the largest bowl we have with popcorn and jumps in the car. Our favorite Christmas CD goes in and we drive around looking for the best Christmas lights and dropping off some goodies to our friends. Every time I load up the car with 4 kids, it still feels empty 2 months later. Someone is missing. I was tempted not to go at all. The darkness would really prefer I just stay home and not venture out into the world in the dark. But I know what's out there even though I can't always see it through the darkness. I know if I just take a few steps in faith I'll find the light. So I put my santa hat on and hopped in the car. And there are a lot of challenging things and fun things about having 3 pre-school age kids, but one of the best has to be driving around looking at Christmas lights. The sense of wonder in a 3 and 4 year old is fabulous. Every single light they saw got a "woah!!!" "Wow!!" One strand across the roof of a house, one star on a light pole, or a whole yard decked out. It was all so incredible to them.

 

 

 

I don't have a lot to offer, my measly string of lights wrapped around the deck railing hardly seems like a contribution. And yet, it's lighting up the darkness, it's bringing a little hope. I don't have a lot to offer right now while I'm just trying to survive each day as a grieving mom of 4 instead of 5. But I'll trust that Jesus will use whatever I can offer to bring a little bit more light to earth.

We celebrate the season of Christmas now for two weeks, because we have good reason to celebrate. Would you keep your lights on for the next two weeks? Because after all the family celebrations are over and the last gift is unwrapped, this dark time of year can get quite long and lonely for a lot of people, especially those who are missing someone. But your light, whether its a strand of bulbs on your front porch or the smile on your face when you visit or an unexpected phone call or letter, will brighten up that darkness.

Prayers offered for you tonight if this Christmas has been a difficult one. Praying you see the light and the joy of the HOPE that we are saved from all of this heartbreak and that He's going to bring a little light until then!! Pray for me too, I'd really appreciate it!