The first Sunday of Advent we were lucky to be visiting my in-laws parish whose priest said "don't miss advent". We know that Christmas in stores starts popping up even before Halloween now and most of us feel pretty great for waiting until after Thanksgiving to decorate for Christmas, but with our huge focus on jumping into the Christmas season before it's here, we are missing the beautiful and necessary season of Advent. I'm not just talking about decorating for Christmas too early. Yes, decorations are something physical and tangible that play a very important role in our spiritual life since we are physical, visual people, but it's the actions and thoughts behind the decorations that are important.
So, we all know there's an age-old debate over when the appropriate time is to put up your Christmas tree, but just why is it important anyway? As my 3 year old son grows it has forced my husband and I to think seriously about why we do the things we do. We want to teach him what the season is really about and to discourage the concept of "I want _____" fill in the blank with any toy in eyesight. We questioned if we would pretend that Santa exists and a lot of other things. And the more I researched the more I realized that Mark Hart was absolutely right. If I want my son to know what Christmas is really about, the answer is in Advent. I think Advent gets passed over because people don't always understand it. I, just like so many of you, hate to wait for anything. Why wait to decorate? To turn on the Christmas music? To celebrate such a beautiful Christian event? Because, just like in our lives, when we skip ahead, we miss what was meant for right now. When I was in high school I wanted to skip to college, when I was in college I wanted to skip to marriage and when I got married and we struggled to have children I wanted to skip to when that would happen. But I could write pages and pages of what good things I would have missed had I been able to do that.
Advent is more than just blank squares to cross off on a calendar or a reason to make you wait. Advent isn't really about waiting for Christmas, it's really about pointing us to Christ. It's about remembering that HE is what life is really about. We aren't waiting for a baby to be born...that already happened! We're waiting for Jesus to come again. And as someone recently shared, how many of us still do? Or have we really given up on that? Do we really live our lives each day to the holiest degree? Do we really HOPE each day that today will be the day He comes? And do we realize that He went through all that He did just so that He could come to live in our hearts right now? That is what advent is about. You can see how easily that message gets lost in the "Christmas" season as we know it today that is so much more focused on things of this world than the next. This Advent, hear Jesus say "all I want for Christmas is you."
Ok, so you want to celebrate advent the right way, but wait! Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater! One of the unfortunate things about the secular world taking over our Christian holidays is that some of our beautiful, meaningful traditions get so twisted they are unrecognizable to Christians. The more I learn each year I realize I don't have to get rid of things I have grown to love about Christmas, they just have a lot more meaning to me now! So here are a few ways that my family celebrates Advent and Christmas in case you are looking for ideas, but make sure to make it your own!
Advent Calendar - Advent for us really revolves around this calendar. First of all, my son loves opening something each day, and that makes sure that a single day doesn't go by that we aren't spending some time thinking about the themes of advent. Each day has something to do like a prayer, an act of service, a craft, etc. I try to relate them to the daily Mass readings for the day. Usually they have some type of treat or gift in them. For example, on the Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe there was a stamp set and we talked about the story and then played with our stamps (keep in mind, my son is 3 so I keep things pretty simple). There was a tube of frosting as the gift the day we made ginger bread "nativity scenes" and talked about where Jesus was born. There are quarters for the day we're challenged to pay it forward by putting extra money in the vending machine for the next person, and socks for the day we just "sat and soaked in the presence of Jesus". I know it sounds like it took a long time, but it probably took less than 2-3 hours to come up with all the activities and then put it together. My son was able to help put some of it together with me. I let him do the ones with notes and candy and I did the ones with the bigger gifts like the stamp set, socks, etc so he would be surprised. I'm sorry I didn't type up what I put in there this year, but if you'd like some ideas from last year you can read my post about advent last year for the list. The photo above was taken today, so it's in it's in-between stage. As we take down gifts, we fill in the space with our friends and family! We hang our Christmas cards and it's just a wonderful visual of how His blessings pile up as we grow closer to Him!
Pray Unceasingly - Saint Paul said it and it can be said again. Everyday, all the time. Pray. The whole purpose of Advent and Christmas is to get you to heaven so that you can have the relationship with God you were created for to begin with. All He wants is you. You're missing the point if you do all the craft stuff but never take time to be with Him. We take advantage of "The Word Among Us" daily devotions for advent as well as Fr. Robert Barrons daily devotionals that come right to your email in case you're the type that forgets to pick up a book or go on to a blog each day. Growing up we also prayed the rosary as a family daily during advent, something we are trying to do now but not succeeding with. Clearly, we are not prioritizing this enough and need to :) I'm able to pray it on my own, but I feel it's important to do as a family. It shows to your children that this is important enough to turn the TV off, and stop whatever else we are doing to give our time to God.
Santa - wait, don't get rid of him! I mean, yes, please oh please stop writing him letters asking him for things. This REALLY defeats the purpose of Christmas (see my blurb about gifts below). It can be easy to want to toss out Santa. A friend recently shared the blog post with me "What to do about Santa" and gives a lot of great points on how Santa has gotten out of control. For that reason, I know many Christians have gotten rid of the tradition all together, and I was one who was ready to. But what we are forgetting is that before he was "Santa" he was St. Nicholas, because his feast day is during advent and he was a wonderful holy man who shared what he had with others. On his feast day, December 6, it's traditional to put candy in shoes by the door, which we did. Let the kids put candy in dad's shoes and get a taste of how great it feels to do something nice for someone! Instead of teaching our kids to ask him for things, teach them to be LIKE him, to give to others.
Gifts - As we go through a store and my son says "I want that, and that and that." I redirect his thoughts. "At Christmas we need to think about what we can get for other people, not ourselves. What do you think your cousins would like to have?" When he's older we can start talking about people in need, he doesn't quite get that yet. But really, if we are frustrated that to kids Christmas is all about gifts and we hate seeing the ungratefulness around the Christmas tree on Christmas morning, we have to set to the tone. That means we have to stop asking "what do you want for Christmas?" and instead say "what can we do for others this Christmas?" or "who are you most excited to give a gift to this Christmas?" Then maybe, just MAYBE, gifts you do chose to give them might be appreciated not expected...maybe. I've heard two things that I liked as ways parents keep gifts simple. Some do 3 gifts each because that's what Jesus received, and another does "something you want, something you need, something to wear, something to read." The important thing to stress is the reason behind the gift giving. If you can't answer why we give gifts at Christmas, then why are you giving gifts at Christmas?
Straw for the manger - as kids we got to put a piece of straw in the manger each time we did something nice for someone, and I have added for every extra prayer time as well. To soften the bed for baby Jesus (who's tiny figurine is still placed there in a sort of ceremony on Christmas Eve at my parents house while we sing Away in the Manger) and to remind us that He calls us to follow his example of loving others, not to throw a big party each year in His honor where nobody honors Him.
Finally...Decorating - Isn't it magical once you decorate for Christmas? It really changes the atmosphere of the house. If you decorate for Christmas, it's going to feel like Christmas. But I wanted my house to reflect Advent so that I'm visually reminded. Since Advent builds up to Christmas, our decorating reflects this. We tie this into our advent calendar which on certain days gives us things to do. The first week of advent we put up the advent wreath, and the BARE Christmas tree. A reminder of the new life that Christ brings but also that we are still waiting for the day we'll celebrate with Him in eternity. The second week we put up lights on the tree and outside, to proclaim to all that Jesus brought light into darkness. This year we put lights outside on 4 of our small trees, but we only plug in 2 during the 2nd week of advent and 3 during the third, etc (they're our advent candles!). No one else probably gets it except us but that's ok! On the Feast of the Immaculate Conception we set up the Nativity scene. Then we finally decorate the tree and put up all our other decorations during the 4th week, usually just a few days before Christmas. A bonus to waiting so long to decorate is that it isn't hard to leave the decorations up through the Christmas season because we aren't sick of them yet! Plus, they bring joy to the dreary month of January.
It's really not to late to celebrate Advent this year! I hope most of all you are able to just spend time with Him in prayer and recognize Him in others. Remember, the disciples waited hopefully for the return of Jesus. Maybe the most important question for our hearts today is: do we hopefully await his arrival or do we hope he doesn't come today? The answer is a good spiritual check for our hearts. I know I have some work to do. Thank God for Advent!
